Zhi Niao
by Red Kasei
Summary: Vegeta has never led a great life. Not even on Earth with a family is life fair to him. So he retreats to distraction. But is it enough? Especially when a budding half-Saiya-jin insists on opening him up? Yaoi. Gohan/Vegeta. Possible Goku/Vegeta
1. Disclaimer and Warnings

Disclaimer

**Disclaimer**

I, Red Kasei, own nothing of Dragonball Z or any of the characters therein. I'm merely using them for my amusement. Dragonball Z belongs to Toriyama-sama and only him!

If I _did_ own any part of DBZ, there'd be a lot more yaoi innuendoes…

**Warnings!**

This is a yaoi fanfiction. Yaoi meaning man on man. If you do not like, please do not read any further. I utterly _refuse_ to be flamed because some baka didn't decide to read this particular warning. You miss this warning and flame me; you're just proving how stupid you are. Really. It's the first chapter of the whole fanfiction; you CAN'T miss it.

Also, this is a Vegeta uke fanfiction. Meaning, Vegeta is the 'girl' in the act of intimacy. You don't like that either, you're free to read on or leave.

This fanfiction also contains mentions of death and is, in a certain sense, quite mature.

As a final warning, I may not ever be finishing this story. Sad, I know, but I have very little time to write and the plot bunny tends to go missing after a certain period of time. I will, however, attempt to complete it because I am actually rather proud of my recent work.

So here's to hoping!


	2. Paper, paper, everywhere

_**Zhi Niao**_

**Chapter One**

**Paper, paper, everywhere**

**Vegeta POV**

'…_I went to the campus in September expecting to find rubble. The place was untouched. The library's books had not been carted off, the tutors' offices had not been destroyed, the student affairs office had not been burnt to the ground. I was thunderstruck. What the hell had they been doing behind the barricades?_

_When the strike was…'_

"Vegeta! For the final time of calling! Dinner is ready!"

I scowled as, once again, my reading had been interrupted. I didn't know why that damned woman had decided to start bothering me now, but it wasn't welcome. Not in the least!

I pushed myself up from the desk and strode over to the door. She was right outside. She had been there for a while now. I should know. I'm Saiya-jin and I could smell her. She had been standing there for a good few minutes and I was wondering what the hell she was up to until she started to bang on my door.

I unlocked it and yanked it slightly open, only just enough so she could see my face and not into my room.

"What is it, woman?" I scowled. My glare was returned.

"I've been calling you for the past hour already," she groused, tucking her cropped hair behind her ear. "What the hell are you doing in there?"

"I don't see how that's any of your damn business." I sneer. Bulma hates it when I do that, but I do it anyways. As predicted, her cheeks turned bright red and beneath that pout I could hear her grinding her molars.

"It _is_ my business because this is _my_ house!"

"Then I'll go find somewhere else to stay."

"Where in the hell will you stay?" she snickered cruelly. "No one is stupid enough to take _you_ in."

"Kakarotto would." She flinched before her cheeks regained their colour and she raised a threatening finger at me.

"Don't you dare! You know how complicated Goku's situation is! Don't go and burden him with your shit! You're only going to make things worse!"

"How could I possibly makes things worse? If he's in such a state, he'll leave me alone and there won't be any trouble. Unlike some other baka ningen…"

Bulma glared with as much anger as she could muster, but I had been on the receiving end of so much worse so it was more like a puppy trying to act tough. Her fists were shaking with anger, but I couldn't care less. Actually, I could. I could care a whole lot less.

"Fine! Be that way!" she yelled before stalking off. "See if I ever cook you a meal again!"

Once I heard her high heels digging down the stairs, I closed my door and locked it again. I sighed and leant against it. I knew I should've come out long time ago when I had the chance. But, for some strange reason, I had hope. I hoped that this relationship of ours would work. We had Trunks; so why didn't it work?

I blamed mostly myself at first. I thought that maybe if I had been there more often for her and been the man she wanted me to be, then she wouldn't have done what she did. But as time passed, it seemed like nothing was going to stop her. Besides, I didn't want to end up like that fool, Yamcha. I still remember when I started staying here how he did everything she asked to please her. Her cut his hair, he took her out on expensive dates and paid for it; and look how it ended up. She ended up having my child.

I suppose it was really arrogant of me to think the only reason she turned to me was because I was a real man and could give her what she wanted, but it turns out that I was wrong. So very wrong. And the worst part of it all is that she thinks she has me fooled.

Trunks doesn't know about it. He knows there's something really wrong between the two of us and he's treading lightly just in case one of us explodes. Bulma and I are alike in that way. We've both got god-awful tempers. He seems to be trying to make an effort to be with both of us and, in some strange way, I'm actually very happy that he's decided to spend more time with me. He says it's because his mother smells strange. That's his Saiya-jin senses in action. Of course, he's asked why but I would never tell him. It's not something I think my child, or any child for that matter, should hear.

Who wants to know that their mother is a royal slut and cheats on the father of her child whom she tells everyone is her husband? No, there was no way in hell I was ever going to tell Trunks that the smell on his mom was the smell of sex with numerous different men. I hated Bulma. I'm not going to lie. But I wasn't about to be vindictive about it.

Like I said; I blamed myself at first. I suppose that's why even when I had pretty much caught her in act so many times I didn't want to broach the subject. I thought that if I changed, everything would go back to the way it was. Only once I realized that it wasn't just me, that ship had sailed and gone and there was no opportunity to bring up her infidelity without mentioning that I had seen her engaging with these men a good couple of times. She never noticed me. I'm rather glad of it, too.

I realized that she had a problem, too. She wanted things her way and she wasn't patient enough to get it. I may not have been a model husband or an insatiable lover, but she wasn't exactly a perfect woman, either. I was me and she was her. I accepted her for all her flaws and annoyances that included tampering with the toaster while it was still toasting my bread. But she didn't accept me.

I return to my desk, not feeling really in the mood for _Norwegian Wood_. I had read it about three times already and I had been in the mood for it again, but after encountering Bulma I just didn't feel up to it. I pulled out my custom bookmarkbefore looking for a place to put the book. My room was pretty much filled to the brim with books. There were stacks of books on my desk, books in the shelves, books at the foot of my bed, books on the dresser, books on the side table and even books in the cupboard. There were books stacked upon books, piles reaching as high as my waist if they could manage that high placed everywhere in my room, in every corner, twisting so that it made a strange little pathway so if I wanted to find a particular book I had already read, I would just have to crawl and follow along.

It was time to go shopping again.

I was only dressed in cotton sweatpants and a large white t-shirt, so I quickly made a change to dark jeans, an indigo shirt and a black jacket. I stuffed my wallet into my jacket pocket and, after making sure that no one could get in my room, I opened the window and took off.

West City had pretty much everything anyone could ever wish for. It was a fast paced city with mass produced items and stressed humans who could never step back and wonder what they were doing in such a life. But I could less about other people right now. The only person I've decided to devote myself to is my son. Trunks is only fourteen years old. He's still very young, no matter what these humans say. I've been fourteen and I remember what it was like. Young, foolish and thinking you know everything when you really know nothing. I don't want my son to end up something like me, not even as I am now. I know that I'm a dam just ready to burst; a bomb just waiting for someone to press the button. I've always been like that and I don't want Trunks to become like that.

The first store I enter is a rather large bookstore. It caters for all kinds of readers and is more your new 'steel and plastic' type of place rather than the 'old wood' kind of bookstores. But books are books, and this one just happens to have a coffee shop right next to it. I was kind of hungry seeing as I skipped supper to avoid Bulma, so I decided a quick stop wasn't such a bad idea.

I browsed through each and every category within the store. I went through each and every aisle, checking the titles that interested me the most and checking to see if any more books written by my favorite authors had come out. I stood still at times, titling my head at an angle to read the title on the spines or to read the summary and see if it interested me. After a good hour or so, I finally brought all the books to the front. The man behind the register looked at me as though I was insane, and if I had been a spectator I'd have probably thought I was insane, too. I must have had at least thirty-something books and about three magazines, and I think I had a couple of manga. But I just raised a sardonic brow, silently asking the threatening question 'is something wrong?' The man, who was really just some spotty teenager, jumped and started scanning in all my books.

By the time he was done, the teen looked exhausted. I sincerely doubt any other human comes to buy this many books at once, but he should've been happy that he had something to do. I had noticed he was looking particularly bored as I was searching for something to read. I checked my watch and was relieved to see that it was only 19:47. I had a good bit of time to get something to eat and read. I didn't want to go back to Capsule Corp. Not just yet. My stomach was also complaining silently, threatening to digest me whole if I didn't give it some sort of nourishment. I was very eager to oblige.

I ordered something very simple. Just a couple of sandwiches, a latte and a few muffins. It's a lot for a human, but by Saiya-jin standards it's called anorexic. I sat there with my book poised in my hand, my fresh latte steaming in the cold breeze of the shops air conditioning and snickered. Anorexic. That's what Nappa had told me when he found out I hadn't been eating as much as I should've because I was training too hard. I clearly remember that.

I had been furious that Frieza had managed to overpower me again. It wasn't like it was unexpected, but losing in a humiliating way makes it seem all the more worse. I trained for weeks on end, eating nothing more than the watery soup they served at the canteen. I was so sure that what I was doing was right that even when I fainted in the beginning of a spar between Raditz and I, I pretty much threatened to smother both of them in their sleep if they stuck their nose into my business one more time. But Nappa wouldn't let it slip. I always called him a lunk-head and thick-skulled, but those were his qualities and it was what made him so wonderful. I'll admit that now, and I wish I had realized it a lot sooner. Even though he never got the meaning of the word 'no', he was always there when I really needed him to most. When I starved myself because I wanted to train more, he made sure to follow me like a bad smell follows something rotten. He made sure that I got enough sleep, I ate enough of the right things and, pretty much, he routine my day for me so that I wouldn't have to fret about missing any training time. I always did, though. I was fourteen and I thought I knew everything. I really missed him.

Raditz was someone else I missed quite a bit. I never wanted to admit it, but he and Kakarotto are very much alike. The only thing that really separates them is their opinions. Raditz thought that killing was okay provided it was merciful on the innocent while Kakarotto thought, and still thinks, that killing innocent people is just plain wrong. Other than that, they're both all smiles, jokey, playful and always trying to brighten things up no matter how dreary the situation. I can never count how many times Raditz lifted my spirits after a particularly grueling mission. It was just something he always did. I know Kakarotto has those qualities, too, and I should be attracted to him in the same way I was to Raditz, but I'm not. I suppose it's because I know Kakarotto killed Raditz and even though I've put it behind me, I still haven't forgiven him for it.

Kakarotto. I momentarily feel bad for the bitterness that is welling my mouth. And it wasn't the mustard.

Chichi died early this year. She had been diagnosed with cancer in her brain. Already I knew her fate was sealed. No where on Earth is there a cure for cancer; especially not in the brain. But Kakarotto seemed so determined, as though it was another battle and he would, once again, protect him family from the dangers that lurked everywhere around them. I always knew Kakarotto was naïve, but after seeing and hearing him after he told me about her condition, I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

"_Sorry Vegeta, I don't think we're going to have time to train today."_

"_What! Why not? Explain yourself, Kakarotto! I've come all this way to spar and now you tell me you can't? What the hell?"_

"_Calm down, Vegeta. It's just that Chichi needs to go to the hospital for a check up."_

"_Che! Can't she do that herself? The woman does it herself, so why can't your wife do that same?"_

"_I don't know," Kakarotto said, scratching the nape of his neck as though the thought suddenly occurred to him. "It's just that she's been complaining of headaches for the past few weeks and none of the painkillers she got worked. She went there before," he scratched some more. "and when she came back she said she had cancer."_

_I froze._

"_Cancer?" Headaches? For a couple of weeks? "Where?"_

"_I think she said it was the…uh…ospital lobe…"_

"_Occipital lobe."_

"_Right! I don't know what it is, but she said she was taking medicine for it. She said the doctor will call her again and she has to go in for another check up."_

_I was stunned. Chichi had cancer in her occipital lobe?_

"_Ka-Kakarotto…"_

"_It'll be fine, Vegeta." He said in his usual carefree manner. "Chichi says it's just a bit of medicine. She'll be alright. I mean, as long as I don't have to watch any injections then it'll be fine!" he chuckled. "Chichi's a strong woman. I know something as small as this won't hinder her, though I am worried about the fact that those headaches are making her see things. But the medicine should work. It's just a matter of time before that horrible bug is gone! Chi just needs a few days of relaxing."_

_I opened my mouth to yell at him at how stupid he was, or maybe it was to ask cynically if he knows what's really happening to his wife. But his eyes were shining brightly, so determinedly as though this was just another challenge. Like facing a new opponent. A simple challenge that can be overcome so long as you try hard enough. I wanted to yell at him that it wasn't going to work. Not with this. I wanted to whisper in his ear just what was really happening; that this wasn't anything like fighting against Cell because no matter how hard you could fight in this battle, you'll lose. But my voice became stuck in my throat and I couldn't say anything. What could I say?_

"_I…I-I see…"I muttered._

_Kakarotto looked at me strangely. I guess it was my sudden change in attitude, but I didn't want to explain myself. I should've told him…_

"_Is something wrong? I mean, I can spar maybe tomorrow."_

_Tomorrow. Tomorrow will never come, Kakarotto. Not after today._

"_It's…okay." I took in a deep breath. "See you."_

_With that, I took off. I didn't want to stay anymore. I felt so awkward, so out of place. Was I really the only one between the two of us that grasped the concept and was furious because he just didn't get it? Or was it maybe because Kakarotto was about to lose someone he loved very much and there was nothing he could do about it; very much like my relationship with Bulma. I didn't know. And I didn't care. Tomorrow would never come for Kakarotto and I. I was going home to burrow myself in my books and try and forget that something bad was going to happen. Forget that after today I'll never see Kakarotto again._

Chichi's cancer had already spread from the occipital lobe and had moved down into her cerebellum and forwards to her frontal lobe. I heard the news and felt terrible. I knew that disease was one battle no warrior, no matter how proud or strong, could hope to ever win and come out triumphant. They may come out, but severely scathed and no longer desiring to live. I've seen it and I know. Chichi passed away a week after Kakarotto took her for her 'check up'. I never saw him again after that day when he told me, but I've heard from Bulma that he was really torn up about it. Gohan and Goten weren't so well off, either. I wanted to go and tell them that they'd be alright, and I nearly did. But Bulma and another one of her escapades made me rethink and I returned to my books, burying myself even deeper.

I felt awful that Bulma had been sleeping with many different men while still calling me her husband and such things. I felt terrible that I didn't tell Kakarotto what was really happening to his most precious person. But I felt even more bad because it has been more than a year and a half since I found out about Bulma's infidelity and nine months since Chichi passed away, and I haven't even bothering to check in with the real world. But I don't want to. I may never want to again.

I've never had a security blanket before. I remember Trunks telling me the bands I gave him for his birthday are his security blankets and I remembering scoffing at how foolish it was. But look at me now. Utter hypocrite. I know I'm hiding from the realities of the world. I know I'm not trying to right everything that has been turned upside down and shaken to a nauseating dizziness. But that's the way I've always been. I've been broken as a child and I've never been fixed. I've never allowed anyone to fix me. And still now, I'm not making an effort. I've always tried to ignore everything that bothered me. Every little bit that I couldn't stomach. Ignoring it only went so far. But this is new. It's a distraction.

I can pull myself into other worlds, read about other human's lives and the trials they overcome. I can completely ignore each and every little thing that churns my guts and makes me feel small and weak. Even though I know better, I also know that I'm never going to do better. I'm never going to tell Bulma I know she's a slut and move away from her. I'm never going to check in on Kakarotto and his sons. I'm never going to fix myself.

But it's okay. Because I don't want to. Books will comfort me and keep me safe. So long as I have books, I'll be fine.

It's not an addiction. Really. It isn't.


	3. Fairytle Hero

**Chapter Two**

**Fairytale Hero**

**Gohan POV**

Spring was well on its way from what I could tell. The winter rains had lightened up and new sprouts were timidly breaking through the dark soil. I was pretty happy with this new change. It felt so much better now that mom's death was so long ago. Well, maybe not that long ago. I still felt slightly ill every time I thought about it. It's not like I thought my mom was invincible or anything of the sort. Dad died numerous times and he's so much more powerful than anyone else on Earth! Well, except for Vegeta and myself, but until Trunks and Goten reach maturity, that's about it. It's just that even though you expect it to happen, I mean, you know that one day the people you love will eventually pass through to the other world, but even though you know this nothing ever really prepares you for it. I especially didn't see my own mother dying in a hospital bed because of brain cancer. Cancer that had been growing for three years! It was a real shock and horror to us. Especially dad. I guess he felt like he really neglected her. He did a lot to protect her, but this was one thing he couldn't have protected her against. For a while after the funeral, dad tried to make it up to us as though we blamed him, but we told him not to. Goten and I knew it wasn't his fault. We felt like we had let down mom, too, but I know there wasn't anything we could have done, anyways. If mom had a malignant cancer growing inside her brain and she didn't even know, how were we to?

It didn't lessen the pain, though. We all struggled. I ended up breaking up with Videl because of the turmoil at home. Sitting in my old room, I feel like I shouldn't have but I know that it was definitely for the better. She tried filling in my mom's place to the point that Goten actually started getting malicious with her. He became rude, obstinate, he willingly allowed Videl to make mistakes so she could be corrected, he humiliated her on numerous occasions and even went so far as to injure her in sparring. I, at first, thought he had been picking it up from Vegeta. The man had many issues and Goten spent a good lot of time with Trunks after school, so it was only logical that he was picking it up from him. But then he started staying out later and later until he never came home until Videl had gone. That's when I knew something was wrong. Videl had talked to me about it and I talked to dad, but he seemed to be in a world of his own. It was like Videl was just a maid to keep the house clean and running while mom was gone. He was no use, so I decided to try and let things sort itself out. Videl even went out of her way to try and become friends with Goten. I don't know what she said, or if even the action of wanting to become friends was a mistake, but he took this as an offence and from there things just got progressively worse. Whereas before when Goten was only rude in her presence, now he specifically went out of his way to make her time in our house as miserable as possible. Videl complained endlessly to me, threatening me numerous times to leave if I didn't do something. I finally took him aside and asked why he doing it.

"Because she's trying to be mom and she'll never be mom. She's a fucking fraud and that's all she'll ever be in this house!"

At first, I had wondered where my little brother's latest word had come from. But only later did I understand and the same feeling that had been making Goten like a miniature Vegeta was now creeping upon me. Suddenly the large and gourmet prepared meals that she ordered for us became annoying. Her cleaning our house made me shudder in revulsion. Her constant reminders to do our work became beyond irritating and I just wanted her gone!

The break up came a mere three months after mom died. Videl had been in our house the whole day. Dad was supposed to be home, but he always left. I know he didn't go out to do heavy training, but he trained. Goten had been avoiding her again, claiming that he had a project to do and he'd be at the library for quite some time. Truth be told, he told me he'd rather sleep the weekend away in the library rather than come home to her face. I felt ashamed that I hadn't reprimanded him for that comment, but rather privately agreed. By now, I had grown sick and weary of the woman. It was as though she thought she saw an opening in my life and decided to take it.

"Okairi, Gohan-kun!" she chirped as I came through the kitchen. I glanced over and saw she was preparing one of her gourmet meals again. I just grunted a reply. She was already getting on my nerves. "How was college today?"

"Same as always."

"Oh." She seemed taken back by my short reply, but I could've cared less. "Goku-san said he was going to train with Piccolo today. I hope he won't be late again. I feel like everyone is avoiding me. I mean; I work hard in the house and I cook for you guys everyday. A little thanks would be appreciated, you know!"

Great. She started going off like she was the owner of the house and we all needed to give her thanks for taking care of us. I hardly like siding with Vegeta, but in this case I was more than willing to agree that I can look after myself.

"I mean; this house isn't small, you know! I guess that's why you guys' aren't home; so I can get work done, but its so creepy being in this place by myself! And you've got outdated ornaments and useless trinkets that need throwing away! I haven't done it yet because I've been thinking about how to rearrange the living room, but you've got to speak to Goku-san about taking what he wants because this place needs some serious change!"

This is where she turned to me, looking to me and asking for my approval. Well, more like glaring at me and daring me to disagree. I remember seeing this as a child when I watched my mom and dad. Mom would say something similar and look at him like Videl was looking at me. I always remember dad doing his pushups, looking up at mom owlishly and asking what was wrong with it. Mom loved dad and would just sigh and smile and then get back to cooking. This was similar, but I knew that Videl wasn't going to simply smile and go back to preparing whatever the hell she had decided to order. This house was mom's house and she knew how to run it for the wellbeing of our family. Videl…knew nothing.

"Well, I think you're right." I said, earning a wide grin. "I think we'll start with you."

"Huh?"

"You said there needed to be some changes, so I've thought of the most useless thing we can get rid of. You."

Videl stared at me as though I had suddenly gone insane before her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed.

"What did you say?"

"Oh! I'm sorry. Did I stutter? Or do I need to say it slower?"

"Gohan! What has gotten into you?" I didn't say anything. I was so irritated her that I didn't want to acknowledge that she was even there. "Gohan! Answer me! I help around here and this is the thanks I get! You big jerk!"

"No, Videl. You are _not_ helping out. You're trying to take over this house. And don't look at me like because it's damn well true and you know it! You're trying to fill in a gap that you couldn't possibly hope to fill and it's grating on everyone's nerves."

"Everyone? Who is everyone?"

"The people that actually belong in this house."

She hissed.

"First Goten, now you. What? Is Goku-san going to suddenly tell me to stop helping out, too?"

"Not to stop helping out. To get out, Videl."

"WHAT! You…you…_jerk_! You take that right back, Son Gohan! I'll forgive you because I know you're stressed from college and studying to be a teacher is no easy task, but you've crossed the line with that last remark! Take it back, right this instant! Or we're through!"

I calmly looked at her bright red face and her short cropped hair that was now flying about. Before, I found her so pretty and strong, like my mom. I thought she could fill the space because she was so like my mom. But Videl could never be mom. She could never be anything more than my girlfriend. And now that she had stupidly tried to barge in where she wasn't welcome, I didn't even want her as that.

I stepped aside from the front door and gestured towards it. Videl looked shocked.

"Well? There's the door. I'm sure you know your way out."

"Gohan…" she trembled, her eyes misting over.

"Just try not to find your way back in."

That did it. Even though tears were falling, she ran up to me and punched me in my face. As I expected, I didn't budge and she was left with a red and sore hand.

"You…you…ASSHOLE!" she cried before racing out the front.

Some part of me wanted to run after her and tell her that I was sorry. But it was far too late and I wouldn't do it, anyways. Something inside of me had snapped, as though I had had enough and I was taking it out on the one person that was closest and wouldn't understand. Videl would never understand what we feel. I know that she meant well, but sometimes it is just better to leave well enough alone and let everyone just get on their own. I'm Saiya-jin. Dad's Saiya-jin and so is Goten. I watched as Videl ripped the apron off her front before hopping into her small copter. No. We didn't need her.

Hell, if Vegeta could survive years under Frieza without someone as nurturing as mom, I didn't see why we couldn't.

I still felt bad about that night. Videl had meant well and I could have just told her to leave everything and let us deal with our family ordeal, but something inside told me that would just have lead to some other argument. In retrospect, with the way she kept threatening the relationship it seemed it was going to end, anyways. But no sooner had she left when everything started to sort themselves out. Goten started coming home after school each day and, oddly enough, had taken it upon himself to cook for the family. Dad acknowledged this and praised him for it. Dad also seemed to return slightly to the world, if only slightly. He knew mom was gone, but he just didn't want to talk about it. As though if he said it mom would come back and haunt him. Goten, however, wanted to speak to me of it all the time. He was only twelve at the time and by the time his thirteenth birthday rolled by, he seemed to have gotten it out of his system. I had too, in my own way. Granted, it seemed like I was hiding from the truth of it and maybe I was. But the grief wasn't there and that was all that mattered. I didn't care that I was swamping myself with work, taking care in every fine detail. I just didn't want to be unhappy. Mom was gone and I knew there was nothing we could do to bring her back. Oh, the Dragonballs would grant the wish, but mom would not doubt be unhappy. Mom wouldn't want us to bring her back when she died because it was her time. I guess that's why dad hadn't done it yet.

But sitting in the dim morning light of my room on a dreary Saturday morning, I wished that we did. Then I wouldn't have the urge to do some more research on my projects and thesis. I was drowning myself in work and I didn't care. I kind of wanted to just let myself drown in my sea of letters, papers, notebooks, workbooks, textbooks, ink pens and endless streams of internet information. It was comforting in some ways. But I didn't want to do it today. Today I felt more like visiting old friends. It was times like this I wished Videl was still there for me, but I never regretted letting her go. I just needed some company. I shifted on my seat as I watched the drizzle of rain coat the flowers with a light shine. Piccolo had taken a break from dad and had gone to visit Dende and Mr Popo, so I didn't want to bother him. Dad was out again and he seemed to need his time alone, so I decided to leave him alone…again. Krillin, 18 and Marron were with Roshi and they were always pleasant enough to be around, but somehow it just seemed…wrong. Even after nine months, no one was sure of exactly what to say. Besides, we went years without speaking to each other, so what harm would a whole year do? That left just Bulma, Vegeta and Trunks at Capsule Corp.

I knew I was always welcomed there and, oddly enough, the thought of being in Vegeta's presence, the man who wouldn't give a damn that mom dad passed away from a fatal disease was…enticing. Bulma was sweet and kind, and no doubt they'd have a whole teaparty just to talk about my mom. I'd be able to withstand that for a while. But Vegeta, with his 'I don't give a damn' attitude made me really want to go down there. He didn't care and I didn't want anyone to care. I didn't want anyone to try and sugarcoat anything or try to hold back from hurting my feelings. Mom was gone and I knew that.

With that decision in mind, I slid off my seat and dressed as presentably as possible. A white shirt, black pants, leather loafers and a jersey for until I reached the warm city of West City were all I needed. Goten was with Trunks somewhere, so I didn't have to worry about him. I locked the front door, checking to see if no human could open it before levitating slightly and blasting off.

* * *

West City used to be one of my favorite places to go. I suppose it was because I was a country boy and the city crammed with all its entertainments and excitements made me think it was a whole wonderful world of its own. In a way it was, only now the glitter of the city had dulled down to a mere shine and now I found my own home more appealing than the obsessively manicured gardens of those who stayed in West City. The round concrete houses lost their appeal and they started to look so plain and boring. I wonder what I even fascinated me about them in the first place.

No one took notice of me as I flew over the city. I t may have been because they'd seen this all before. Vegeta and Trunks never took care to conceal the fact that they were anything _but_ human and tended to go wherever they wanted by using their powers. Often than not, they'd fly pretty low over the city; close enough for people to look. But another part of me knew that it was because people didn't really care. They were too involved in their own lives to bother with a man flying over the tops of their skyscrapers and I suppose I understood. They never really took note of these things until something was blowing up or threatening to kill them. If I wanted I could have landed anywhere I wanted and just taken a leisure walk to Capsule Corp, but as tempting as it was I resisted. West City may have not held much appeal to me, but nothing would stop me from browsing around.

I landed in the neat gardens of Capsule Corp. Bunny was as obsessive about her flowers as the rest of the city was about the height of the grass on their lawns and I found that I didn't like the garden as much as I used to. But it had been quite a long time since I had last been here, so I just discarded the thought and made my way to find someone of the house. Trunks and Goten were together somewhere, definitely not in the city, though, and Vegeta would still be training. That man never gave up. So I decided to head into the house and find either Bulma or her father. I entered through the kitchen to find Bunny at the stove, taking out what looked like a cake.

"Oh my!" she chirped. "Goku!"

"It's Gohan, Mrs Briefs." I corrected her.

"Gohan? Is that really you? My, my! What a handsome young man you've grown into! Are you looking for Bulma?"

I found myself instantly relaxing. I knew Bunny wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, but she did have the knack for loosening people up. Vegeta always seemed a little more comfortable in her presence than anyone else's and I guess that was because she knew exactly what to say and do. Like now, she didn't say anything pertaining to mom.

"Actually, I've just come to visit. It's been ages since I was last here so I decided to drop in and see how you guys were doing."

"Well, you're just in time! I've just finished baking a chocolate cake and I've got some cupcakes cooling on the table there. Why don't you go and call Bulma and I'll get the tea on? She's in the labs with her father as usual."

I nodded and said my thanks, truly grateful that she behaved as nothing had changed. It was just what I needed.

I crossed the gardens and walked along a grey tiled path that went all around the house to the front. The path then split up to one leading to the front door and the other to the back for the employees. I took the latter and made my way into the large dome. The doors hissed open and the smell of fumes and burnt metal assaulted my nose. Vegeta had always insisted that we take care and dull our senses down, but after a while he gave up lecturing us and ended up muttering something about us never learning. I rather wished at that moment that I _had_ listened to him. My nose was burning and it was starting to develop a headache right in the front of my cranium. Finding Bulma and Mr Briefs would be hell in this place!

"Goku?"

I swung around, blinking away the stinging sensation in my nostrils and came face to face with Bulma. Her hair was still short, but pulled up into a small ponytail and she had work overalls on with the initials CC sewn in on her right breast.

"Uh…it's Gohan."

Her eyes widened and she looked somewhere between horrified and amazed.

"Go-Gohan? Is that really you? You look just like your dad!"

I gave an awkward grin. I wasn't too pleased with being compared to my dad, oddly enough. I wondered when that desire and feeling changed.

"Mrs Briefs said as much when I saw her."

"What are you doing here?"

I shrugged.

"I've just come to visit. I thought it had been a while since I've been down here, and I guess I was feeling bad about it because Goten comes around pretty much every day." She snorted in amusement.

"Not that he hangs around here the whole day. He and Trunks take off as soon as they can and go goodness knows where! I can only assume it's to train."

"Yeah. Mrs Briefs said there was tea and cake ready."

Bulma huffed. I could tell she was trying to look like she was bothered but I knew she wasn't. As much as she went on about her mom being the way she was, she really couldn't go without Bunny's consideration. But it did look like it could get really annoying at times. I doubted that now was one of those times.

"Well, I guess you're in time then," she said with a grin. "I'll just go tell my dad and then we can walk up. I'll need a shower after all the work I've done." She said, wrinkling her nose. I laughed and nodded, feeling a little more relaxed now.

While Bulma took her shower, Bunny kept me company in the living room. She spoke and spoke and spoke to the point it was annoying, but in some ways I was grateful for the noise. The only social talking I've ever heard was at home and that was just before we dug into dinner. It was actually quite a depressing thought, now that I think about it. After that, Mr Briefs came in to join us and started asking about my studies. Bulma appeared a good fifteen minutes later. We spoke about pretty much everything, although I could see that they wanted to ask how we were. It was difficult and awkward and I hoped they wouldn't. In fact, I was actually hoping Vegeta would show up and they'd have another topic to broach. Mainly Bulma ragging on about his training and destroying of the GR.

"So, Gohan," Bulma said softly after a few moments of silence. "How's your dad? I've seen Goten coming around a lot and he seemed very busy at one point in time." I wanted to wince, as that particular topic was somewhat related to my mom's death. But I decided to indulge them, as I wanted to be here and this may as well be the very reason, not matter how much I deny it.

" Dad's always training and he seems to be really happy with it." Not that I knew. I hardly saw the man much, anymore. "Goten was really busy with school. I think he's been trying to catch up with Trunks."

"That's so sweet!" Bunny cooed. "And how are you and Videl?"

Now I did wince. I looked down at the cup of tea, a little more interested in the yellow rose pattern rather than their expressions.

"We've broken up." There was silence, and I continued. "It's been three months now."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Videl and I just weren't getting along. She kept threatening to break up with me for whatever reason or other and, I guess, after a while I just couldn't take it. The way she kept going on it was almost as though she _wanted_ it to happen." I looked up to see them nodded and humming in agreement. I wasn't going to tell them the truth. But I wasn't going to lie, either.

"Do you miss her?" Bunny inquired. "I always thought she was such a sweet girl."

"I don't, to be honest." I admitted. "I think it's because everything just seemed to deteriorate and it finally got to the point where she was no longer the nice girl that I had met in school. She had changed."

"By the looks of it, you have too, Gohan." Mr Briefs said, petting his black cat draped over his shoulder. "And by the looks of it, for the better."

"Yeah, you look so much more mature now." Bulma said.

I smiled.

"Thanks."

"Well, it was lovely seeing you again, Gohan dear, but I have to do the laundry now! I hope you'll stay for dinner. We're having lamb and potatoes."

"I don't think I'll be here for dinner, but I will stay a while longer."

"Okay, and if you need anything, just give me a shout!" With that, Bunny trotted out the living room. Mr Briefs checked his watch.

"I hate to agree with my wife, but it seems like I should be getting back." He gingerly stood; old age looked like it was slowly creeping in on him as it was my granpa and I felt a jab of pain. "Stay as long as you like, son. There are some things in the lab that I think you might find interesting, so if you want a look, feel free to do so."

"Thank you."

Finally, it was just Bulma and myself. I could sense that she had quite a lot of things she wanted to say and ask, but didn't feel comfortable doing so in front of other people. That was one of the things I liked about her. She was always considerate towards your feelings, even though she did throw some major temper tantrums at times.

"So, Gohan," she said after clearing her throat. "How have you guys been?"

"Since mom died? I guess we're doing okay. I mean, dad's never around much because he's always training. I think her death really hit him hard, so I suppose I understand. Goten also been pushing himself to do a lot more, only he has his schoolwork and some training. He's like dad; he never lets up."

She hummed and fingered the rim of her empty plate.

"And how are you?"

I swallowed.

"I…I guess I'm doing okay. I suppose, like Goten and dad, I'm working through it in my own way. I'm not sure how, but I guess I'm coping."

"That's very good. We were all worried about you guys, you know? Krillin and Eighteen have been here numerous times, asking about you guys, but none of us want to go to you. I mean, we don't want to invade on you when you still need time." She sighed. "I know it must be really bad for all of you. It must have hit your dad the worst because Chichi was everything to him. He defended the planet for her mainly, you know? Before it looked like it was all fun and games, but after he got married to Chi…" she trailed off. "I'm sorry. I know you probably don't want to hear this."

"It's fine." I replied. There was an awfully large lump in my throat and I didn't like it. I felt that I already cried enough for mom. I missed out on a week of school and the only reason I picked myself up again was because I knew that even if she was gone she would not have appreciated me slacking off on my studies. "I know a lot of people miss my mom and are worried about us. It's okay."

She nodded and smiled weakly, her hand now nervously fingering a lock of hair that felt from behind her ear. I noticed she seemed like she had something more to say, but was struggling to do so.

"Erm…Gohan? May I ask a favor of you?"

"Sure. What is it?"

Her cheeks flushed and she looked embarrassed. Her blue eyes darted about the room and it looked like whatever she was going to ask pained her.

"Well, you see, I've been meaning to ask your dad, but when I wanted to it was when you mom was in hospital and I didn't think it was appropriate at all. Then Chichi died and…well, I know your dad must be feeling awful and I've been feeling awful for wanting to go to him and ask him anyways…ugh! I'm rambling!" she took in a deep breath before exhaling slowly; shakily. "What I'm trying to say here is that…Vegeta and I haven't been…getting on in a while."

I raised my brow. I wasn't expecting this.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know how antisocial he is?" I nodded. I really _did_ know. "He's become even more so. I don't know what happened or even when it happened, but about a year ago he just stopped coming out of his room. Well, he _does_ come out his room, just not so much anymore. I don't know why or what, but he doesn't even want to talk to me."

"Does he still train?" Stupid question, but this was Vegeta and therefore a very good question.

"Of course! Only…" she paused. "He only trains for five hours a day now, and that's every morning. At first, I thought he was just pacing himself or something of the sort, but then he kept locking himself in his room every time he finished and he's been going out a lot, too. It's…I just don't know how to explain it! All that I can say in a nutshell is that he trains from five to ten in the mornings, he locks himself in his room only to come out if someone calls him, then he locks himself in again until about eight or nine in the evening to eat something. He hardly eats! Not even when I call him! He avoids me, but he's taken to talking to Trunks a lot more. I don't know what's wrong with him, Gohan."

My breath was caught in my throat. This was definitely non-Vegeta behavior. Vegeta _never_ let up on his training and even though he could go days without food and water, he always seemed to have an equally voracious appetite as my father. And dad was still a hoover when it came to food. Not even mom's death could quell that. The thought of Vegeta hardly training was…very disturbing.

"What do you think it could be? He's not sick, is he?"

She shook her head.

"I doubt it. I ran some tests on him by my insistence and there was nothing wrong with him. I could only think it was something psychological, but I don't have the faintest idea what. I've begun to wonder if he's…if he's cheating on me."

"I don't think so!" I cried out, galled. "I mean, I don't know Vegeta in that manner, but training and getting stronger than dad is his life! If he hardly spends time with you guys, then why would he find someone else?"

"Yes. Yes, you're right, but I can't help _but_ wonder. I can't find anything else wrong with him and he won't speak to me, so what else I am supposed to think?" She had a very good point there. "That's why I wanted to talk to Goku. Even though Vegeta says he hates him, I know he'll listen to him. Just listen and that's all I want. But I don't want to bother Goku with this and…for goodness sakes, why am I even bothering you with this! I feel so stupid…"

"No, it's okay, Bulma." I assured her. "I've been meaning to talk to him and I guess this is now a good a time as any. I don't think he'll talk to me or anything, but I'll try."

"You sure, Gohan?"

"Yeah." I really was sure. I guess it must have been whatever remains of the Great Saiyaman inside of me telling me to go forth and help those who need it. I couldn't believe that Bulma and Vegeta would be having problems. I knew their personalities clashed, but they always seemed to work it out like mom and dad did. It was none of my business, but I really wanted to help. Vegeta had helped me plenty times, even under the guise that I was one of the last of the Saiya-jin, so I felt I owed something to him. Besides, dad would've done it. Vegeta is his friend and comrade as well as mine. Friends always help each other out.

* * *

I was very grateful that it was a Sunday and not a Monday. I had promised Bulma to talk to Vegeta, but I had completely forgotten about my work. If had gone to them on Sunday then I would've more than likely have had to wait for the next weekend before seeing the proud prince. My lectures were always from eight to twelve and then from two to five. There wouldn't have been any time to catch him and I would have preferred to do it while he was training. The morning was still chilly and a little damp, but other than that I got up at four-thirty so I could catch him before he went in to train. Trunks always told us how he _hated_ being bothered while he was in the GR and the boy had plenty of bruises to prove it. Not that Vegeta abused him; just that he'd give Trunk one good whack as a reminder that he didn't like it. It never hurt him; he was a Saiya-jin. I could hold my own against him, especially seeing as he hardly trained these days, but I didn't want to underestimate him. Vegeta had given my dad and I a thorough beating every time we appeared to be going lax on him and he _hated_ it.

I pulled on my blue gi and shoes, not bothering with a jersey. The trip to West City took a little longer than it did the previous day, but I assume that was because I was daydreaming as I was flying. No thoughts came to mind as I made my way to the city except for how Vegeta was doing, and that would make the journey seem even longer. I was worried that I wouldn't be there in time. Well, then I'd just have to take a beating.

Thankfully, when I landed it was only four-fifty five. The GR was dead silent, so he wasn't in just yet.

I was about to lean on the wall to wait for him when I saw a very familiar silhouette appear from around the corner. I couldn't see him clearly, but the flame hairstyle was a dead give away. I've seen many strange hairstyles at college; even some that looked vaguely close to my dads. But Vegeta's was one of a kind; no one could pull that hairstyle off except him.

Just as he rounded the corner, he stopped. His eyes widened partially, but they narrowed immediately afterwards. As though my appearance wasn't a surprise, he ambled casually over the door and to where I was before stopping in front of me. He gave me a once over before crossing his arms and looking at me evenly. It was surprising. No patent death glare.

"What do you want, Gohan?"

I almost jolted in surprised. The whole of the previous day, everyone had been telling how much I look like my dad. It annoyed me, and I still couldn't figure out why but I just assumed that dad's genes were strong in me so I'd look a lot like him. It really surprised me that despite the fact that I had grown and filled out into a man since Vegeta last saw me, he still knew exactly who I was. It must have been a Saiya-jin thing; smell, or maybe there's something about me that's just me and he defines me by that.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Who else would bother me on a Sunday without suddenly appearing in the GR _while_ I'm training?" Ah. That was true. Dad would've just IT there if he wanted. Goten would've been with Trunks.

"Oh."

He raised a brow.

"What do you want?"

"Er…"

I couldn't say anything, really. I was still in awe of the way he knew it was me, even after so long. But it wasn't just that. While I had filled out, Vegeta had slimmed down. He was wearing his trademark navy spandex and it didn't look as full as I remembered it. I remembered Vegeta being short and bulky. His neck was chorded with sinew and muscle and his shoulders were broad and filled out with muscle. Now, he looked so thin! Naturally I had seen thinner people on campus, but for Vegeta he looked so meek. He reminded me an awful lot of when he first came to Earth. So small and petit; he couldn't even be described as a fighter. It was just the same here. His shoulders had slimmed down, as his arms. His waist still held that weird curve that was just Vegeta and even though his legs weren't as bulky as before, they still remained toned and powerful. Vegeta always had powerful legs, though he insisted on using his arms. All in all, even though he was back to being slender and petit, he looked toned and still as strong as ever. I wondered if Bulma had noticed this change in him.

A hand suddenly invaded my vision and I focused on it to see it was beckoning me back up. I looked up from his thighs to see him looking at me with brows furrowed in slight annoyance.

"My face is up here." I blushed a deep red, embarrassed. It must have appeared like I was checking him out! "So are you going to answer my question? Because if not, you can leave now."

"Oh! Ah…it's just, I thought I hadn't seen you in so long and I wanted someone new to spar against." His brow raised. He didn't believe me and I don't blame him.

"What do you _really_ want?"

That was Vegeta. Frank and could always see through a lie. Dad always said he was like a living lie detector and Trunks fervently agreed with that.

"I…I had been meaning to visit." I mumbled. "And, well, I thought it was time. Besides, I figured you could use a good sparring partner. I could use some new moves, too. It's been ages since I actually sparred properly."

His brows raised a little higher as the look of disbelief grew stronger. His dark eyes ran over me again, like a scanner checking to see if what I was saying as the truth or if it was all a big like to cover up something else. My palm started sweating and once again I was reminded that despite his size and the fact that he isn't nearly as strong as my dad, Vegeta was a very intimidating man and he was a strong man when it came to personality. I would have been amazed at how he made me feel like I was seven again if it wasn't for the fact that this could very blow up in my face.

"Fine," he sighed at length. "I've been meaning to do some proper sparring." Nothing else was said. "Well? Come on, brat!"

Once again, I was meeting Vegeta for the first time and I was jumping with every word he said. And, for some reason, it felt nice.


	4. The Smell of Books

**Chapter Three**

**The Smell of Books**

**Vegeta POV**

I had thought today would be another one of those days. Not a bad day, pre se. Just a day where everything would just drag along and you couldn't wait until night to get back into bed. I didn't have to get up. Despite the woman's annoyances at my bedroom door she never followed me anywhere else, so if I wanted I could have stayed in bed and read all day. She wouldn't notice if I hadn't been in the GR or not. The previous night she caught me talking to myself. I was really muttering over CLAMPS _Watashi no suki na hito_, pointing out aloud to myself all the things that were no longer there between Bulma and I and things that just never existed between us. It was actually quite a marvelous piece of manga, if I am allowed to say so. But Bulma ruined it by banging on my door and demanding to know who I was speaking to. I almost answered, but in the current state I was, I don't think I would have been calm and that was what I needed to be the most right now. From her change in attitude, I can tell she is looking at me as though I were the one cheating in the relationship. I know I have become very secretive, but that's because I don't want anything to do with her because of her infidelity. I don't know why she hasn't thought that maybe, just _maybe_, I know. I almost opened the door to engage in a shouting match, but I decided to just let her scream and bang against it. In some twisted way, I was comforted with the thought that she was going crazy over the thought that I was cheating on her.

But as morning came, I realized I just didn't want to get up. My sadistic energy from the previous night had disappeared and all I wanted to do was toss about on my bed or on the plush carpets as I read Dante's _Purgatario_. Or maybe one of those cookbooks I bought on a whim? But I knew I would hate myself later if I didn't do any training. Already I had changed quite a bit over the past months. I wasn't any weaker, but I didn't exactly look like my old self. But to train was still in me, no matter how my love for books had consumed me. That meant I would be getting up.

The sun was just peaking over the tall buildings and I was seized for a moment with the urge to just blow them out of my sight. But the moment went and I continued getting out of bed. I walked along my makeshift path to my wardrobe and took out my old Saiya-jin spandex. My other one was made by Bulma. I pulled on my boots and stroked out the creases in my gloves. I never, _ever_ take them off, not even when sleeping.

To say I was surprised to see Gohan outside of my GR would be an understatement. I was very curious as to what he was doing here, but at the same time I didn't care. At least, I didn't want to care. He had filled out immensely. He looked very much like Kakarotto, only the hair was a dead give away. But he had the same eyes, same face shape; he looked very much like a younger Kakarotto. To me, Gohan looked too old and for a second I could feel the years that had slipped by. Trunks should have been enough for me to feel it, but I never did. I wasn't old by Saiya-jin standards. I was still very much a cub thanks to Frieza's cellular freezing when traveling long distances. Techinically, Kakarotto was o_lder_ than me, but I'd die before letting anyone find that out! Stress had aged me and I was quite happy with the result, thank you. Gohan also seemed very surprised that I knew it was him. I suppose everyone had been asking if he was Kakarotto. But I know better. It was all in their scent. I remember Bardock; he had a sweet scent of vanilla and a sharp tang of some spice which I knew to be some sort of alcohol they served in the canteen. Kakarotto's scent was of freshly cut grass and damp soil; very unique. But both had musky undertones that I knew were from the sweat from training. Gohan was the same, only he smelt more musty with a hint of crushed leaves. Musty like books. I almost lost myself as I inhaled that sweet scent and the urge to throw myself at my piles of books became overwhelming. But I had too much pride to suddenly turn tail at the first whiff of my beloved books.

Gohan said he just wanted a fresh challenge. A big lie if I ever heard one. He and his poor father lack the skill to lie. While Trunks and I can do it as easily as though we were speaking about everyday things, none of the Son Saiya-jin could lie if their life depended on it. I knew why he was here, but I decided to indulge myself. It had been a long time since I last sparred, the last being against Kakarotto. Besides, he offered and I wasn't about to pass up a good fight.

He followed me eagerly into the GR, spinning around as he looked about the dome. I couldn't remember how old he was and then I wondered why I even cared. I shut the door and sealed it so no one else could just waltz in. Trunks and Goten had a habit of doing that and no amount of cuffs over the head or threats to give them a beating within an inch of their lives seemed to change it. I stood for a moment and watched as the boy, now man, looked up at the curved dome with awe. Usually I would be annoyed, but I found that I had lost my fire some time ago and the small things like Son idiocity didn't bother me anymore.

"Well?" I asked, crossing my arms. "Do you want to get started or do you want to stare at the ceiling some more?" He flushed. He was still such a child.

"Ah…we can start now, if you want." I nodded and slid into an offensive pose. For a moment Gohan looked confused, as though he was wondering why I hadn't the gravity on. He lost the look quickly, however, when I attacked.

For the next five hours, Gohan and I pushed each other to our limits. It was an extremely refreshing experience and I had almost forgotten how good it felt to hit something that actually winced and felt pain. On a masochistic note, it also felt good to feel sharp needles of pain blossom under my skin as hard knuckles rammed themselves onto my body. I missed it so much I almost felt like crying, but I was much too proud to do that. It was stupid, too.

We lay on the floor, now cracked and dented, breathing deeply. Gohan had improved quite drastically over the time that I hadn't seen him. He was strong; all the Son were. But he lacked experience and tactical thought. At least, he had when I last saw him. It seemed that his studies had given him a bit of insight and he was using his quick thought reflexes more now than before. I was actually impressed. His scent had changed to a deeper musk of sweat and I just realized how much I missed Kakarotto. We used to push each other to our limits; me striving to be better and Kakarotto striving to keep me at bay. I felt quite ashamed of myself for not being there for them. As the Saiya-jin no Ouji it is my duty to look after my people, yet I was wallowing in my own pool of self-pity. But it didn't matter. It was long past the time when I could visit and enquire to how they were getting on and if I went now I wouldn't know what to say. Gohan at least did me a favor by seeking me out. It didn't feel so awkward anymore. I was rather content to just lie on the floor and relax for a little bit.

"Hey, Vegeta?"

I knew the silence wouldn't last long; this was Kakarotto's first brat we're talking about here. But I didn't feel as annoyed as I knew I should have been.

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for sparring with me. You're really tough!"

"Hn. You've improved, too."

"Really?" He sounded surprised that I had said that.

"You're starting to use your brain and not just your muscle."

"Oh. Thanks, I guess." He was quiet for a bit more and I hoped he wouldn't continue. "Sooooo…" No such luck.

"So?"

"So how have you been?"

"Okay."

"Okay. Umm…I've heard that Goten comes here a lot."

"He and Trunks spar quite frequently. They're at the stage where they have more energy than necessary and their instincts are telling them to let it out in a battle. It's good for them."

"How come?" I turn and I give him a strange look.

"It allows them to work off the excess energy, gain battle experience and stay out of trouble."His cheeks pinked and looked quite sheepish.

"Oh…right." He paused. "And you've been training a lot, too?"

I sighed. I knew what Gohan was trying to do right from the beginning. I knew he had been here the previous day, no doubt to visit the Briefs family now that he was a little more comfortable with the thought that his mother was dead and he would be able to handle whatever soppy drivel these people spouted. Therefore, I knew that Bulma would have gotten her claws into him and asked him to check up on me. I knew she was aiming for Kakarotto, but even though I considered her a heartless bitch for cheating on me I knew she wasn't completely so. Kakarotto is still going through a tough time and she didn't want to make it worse with her own paranoia. But Gohan came into the picture and I suppose out of desperation she asked him to enquire after my personal life. I had nothing to hide but my books and they were my only joy. I wasn't about to share any aspect of my personal life; innocent or otherwise.

I didn't answer and he went silent. I could tell that he was feeling awkward because of his constant shifting and shuffling.

"Um…I've noticed that you've…erm…slimmed down a lot." I didn't answer. "Are you on a diet or something?"

"What did the woman tell you?" Now I was annoyed. Gohan sputtered embarrassedly before mumbling under his breath.

"N-nothing, really."

"No, she must have said something for you to want to spend time with me. So spill it."

"Doesn't it occur to you that I just wanted to do something normal after my mom died?" he growled. I lifted myself up and gave him one of my iciest glares possible. He flinched. Good.

"If that was the case, you wouldn't have come here. I know that I'm everyone's least favorite person. The only people that have been able to put up with me are Trunks, Goten and that imbecilic clown of a father of yours. You've never sought me out for anything so if you wanted to do something 'normal' this wouldn't be it. You've constantly expressed your dislike for everything I do, so I don't see how you could possibly be wanting to voluntarily spend time with me, training or otherwise."

His cheeks were stained bright red and he was looking down shamefully at the floor. I know I shouldn't have snapped at him like that, but I was starting to feel slightly strained that Bulma sent in a young man to do her dirty work. I didn't like Gohan as much as Goten, but I still liked him in some small way. Now he was starting to irritate me and all I wanted to do was drown myself again.

I abruptly stood up, stomping out the door. I heard the familiar skitter of boots attempting to get a broad body up quickly enough to catch up with me and I was, once again, reminded how much Gohan was like his father.

"Vegeta! Wait!" I didn't. I marched straight on. He would catch up with me and he did. "Vegeta! Please, I'm sorry. I know it sounded bad but…"

"Do you even know what you're apologizing for?" A splash of red was all the answer I needed. "Then don't bother."I turned and marched straight back to my bedroom, intent on taking a long, hot shower to wash off the stickiness of the drying sweat. I should have realized that by merely rejecting the boy's presence, just like his father, I was giving him all the reason in the world to make it up to me.

* * *

Winter was slowly approaching in West City. Since I had lost so much body mass I could feel it more than I remember any other time and I had taken to adding extra blankets to my bed. Soup started to be rather appealing to me and I found I could consume as much as I wanted without worrying anyone else. I had Mrs Briefs prepare a whole cauldron for me and I dished up whenever I was hungry. Most of the times that happened to be when I knew Bulma wouldn't be in the house, but it made everyone happy. Bulma knew about this, too. Instead of demanding that I come down to dinner she now demanded that I come and have my soup with them. I always decline, which sends her into a screaming fit, but I know she is trying. It makes me feel both terrible and frustrated to know that she was still trying. But I know for a fact that her 'bad habit' hadn't changed, so my anger always outweighed my guilt.

For three whole weeks Gohan had been coming to bother me. I say bother because that's exactly what he did. He purposely sought me out, only speaking to the others to wait for my appearance. It was rather disturbing. After the Sunday he came back the following weekend. During the second week, he popped by three times during the week and over the weekend. During the third week he had been here every single day!

I suppose the most nerve-wracking part of that wasn't that he had come to see me. Well, that was part of it. What disturbed me greatly was the fact that I knew he was no longer doing this solely for the reason that Bulma had asked him to find out whether I was faithful or not. No; he was seeking my attention for the simple fact that he was ashamed of what I had said. He knew it was true and now, just like Kakarotto, he was going out of his way to try and 'correct' his mistake. It was one reason why I hated the Sons so much. They never accepted anything that was just 'because'. There always had to be something behind it and if it was bad it needed fixing.

Like Bulma, I tried to avoid him but the boy was much more cunning than I gave him credit for. Not only did he wait patiently in front of my GR for when I came out, but he also waited in the kitchen for when I came down to eat. The brat even had the gall to stay by Goten's side until I arrived! He must know that I have a fatherly fondness for that kid if he sticks to him until I come down. Admittedly, I wasn't really annoyed by it. Just slightly irked and largely disturbed. But I decided to be apathetic towards his presence in the hope that he'd get the impression that I was fine and then leave me be. It never worked too well, especially not in the third week of his bothering. I had to keep reminding him that it wasn't holidays and he still had his studies. I had surprised both him and myself when I had first done this, but I was desperate. I had wasted two hours of reading _Black Sunday_ and I didn't want to waste another minute! I even gave him a lecture when he tried to assure me that he was at the top of his class and his lecturer wouldn't mind him missing just one class. He was even more surprised and still reluctant to leave, but I got him to do so eventually. Sadly, the rat bastard came back later that evening to, and I quote "pick Goten up seeing as he was passing by this way". What's worse; Trunks is starting to give both Gohan and I shifty looks. He hasn't yet asked what was going on and I sincerely hope not. That would inadvertently bring up the topic of Bulma's faithlessness and I wasn't ready for such a thing. I found I much rather preferred him to think whatever he was thinking and just keep it to himself.

It was now the fourth week and the brat was beginning to fray my nerves! I had tried to act indifferent; as though I didn't care that he was bothering me. But the truth was that he _was_! I could hardly stand to see him again without wanting to strangle him! I wanted to just be left alone and in peace! Already I had Bulma harassing me nearly every moment she remembered that I existed and I could barely managed that.

Then I realized that I didn't _have_ to endure Gohan's presence. I wouldn't if I wasn't home. It was a brilliant plan. It was really no different from what I did to avoid Bulma when I knew that she was going to bother me for the whole night and day, but I knew it would work. Gohan would come here just after twelve as always and I would be long gone by then. I sat up from my bed and glanced about my room. There were a few more books from the last time I raided the book shops, but it didn't look any different from normal. Maybe I should get some thick jersey's for winter? I was getting much slimmer, and even though I was still doing my training I had lost a lot of resistance. The weather affected me quite badly. In summer the heat sometimes affected me so badly that I lay about my room stark naked, only putting on a cotton vest and the skimpiest shorts I owned when I walked out. If I had to regulate my temperature last summer by spending a good couple of hours each day in the bath, then I couldn't say how the cold would affect me. Already, it was only autumn and I was up to two fleece blankets, a featherdown and a thick quilt duvet whilst everyone else in the house had just started putting on one extra layer on their bed. So I would make this trip outside worthwhile and get me some warm winter wear. And books. I needed fresh books.

I put on a plain blue top, jeans and a denim jacket. I didn't need to be fancy, but I didn't want to stand out like a sore thumb. Crowds in the middle of the day are highly fashionable, strangely enough, and anyone wearing something 'out' were stared at as though they had a disease. I made that mistake once and never again.

Walking out in the middle of the day was easier than in the early evening. Bulma was busy, Trunks was at school, Mrs Briefs was either in the kitchen or doing some other household chore and Mr Briefs, if his habits served me correct, would be on the toilet. Everyday, regular as clockwork, he goes to the bathroom just before twelve. That was the only way I was certain of what time it was. But I would always prefer going out in the evenings because the temperature was just about right. So without any worry or thought, I casually strolled out the front door and out onto the streets.

For this seasons fashion, I noticed a lot of girls' were wearing skirts that were far too indecent to be seen out in public with. The colours were striking, I'll admit, but mere straps of material tightly wrapped around their private areas along with thick layers of makeup and provocatively exposed skin made it all so…gaudy. I noticed that even despite the girls' swinging of their hips and how coquettish they behaved, the boys' they were trying to attract seemed more put off at the display rather than enticed. Humans were such strange creatures. Why did they have to make things so complicated?

The first store I stepped into had pretty much everything I needed, but I decided to be picky. I had two hours, so why not use them to their fullest? I browsed about for a bit before picking a few socks and warm looking underwear. I hopped about for a bit more, buying three jerseys, five fleece tops and another baggy pair of pants. I had long lost all sense of time but I was certain that Gohan wouldn't be at Capsule Corp anymore. But just to be certain, I decided to pop into a bookstore. Just to pass time to make sure.

Stepping into an average sized bookstore off the streets, my senses were once again flooded with the scent of musty pages, both fresh and old with the age of being seated on a self for so long. I smelt coffee and hot chocolate, too, as well as some pastries. Mrs Pinchbeck had been baking again. This particular bookstore was no random one. It was one of my favorites. A private little store owned by a woman called Vianne Pinchbeck; a woman with a love of books that rivaled my own. _Coastliners_ had, in fact, been my first bookstore I had entered when I started dipping into my bibliomania. I was troubled about Bulma and our relationship and I just wandered in, not wanting to go anywhere else I knew we had been together to. Mrs Pinchbeck had noticed my look, but instead of prying like so many of these old biddies are to do, she instead offered me a cup of coffee and to browse and take my time. I did, and that's when it started. I haven't told Mrs Pinchbeck anything about myself, but I don't think she's too worried about me. Well, who would be? I don't think any shopkeeper would have any objections to someone who would buy out their store if they were allowed to. But I knew all about her. She didn't seem to have any trouble in talking about her life, especially to a hardened warrior like myself, and it made me feel slightly ashamed that I couldn't find the courage to talk to her about my life, either. But I don't think she would have believed me. A prince of an alien race that came down to earth to pick up one of its inhabitants and ended up staying for good? Even coming from the mouth of a drunk it sounds questionable.

"Hello there, Vegeta!" she called out from behind a shelf. "Come to raid my poor little store again?"

"I'm afraid so, Mrs Pinchbeck. But I promised to leave the torches behind."

She giggled as she sauntered out from behind the shelf, her grey streaked hair pulled up into a tight plait that ran all the way to her waist.

"You Viking," she tittered. "And it's Vianne, Vegeta. You've been coming here so often and chatting to me, I think you should start using my first name." She saw and sighed, putting a hand to her face. "And look at you! Even skinnier than the last time you were here!"

"It was just three weeks, Vianne…"

"Three weeks too much! Go! Sit and look for something to steal whilst I get you some hot chocolate and some jam tarts. Goodness knows they'll put a bit of meat on your dear bones…"

She walked off to the back where her 'house' was. She lived in the bookstore. Being widowed and fifty-odd didn't exactly give her all the luxuries it had given Bulma, but she was still happy. I decided to do as she told me and started browsing. _Coastliners_ had nearly every kind of book you could ever want. It wasn't as big as those special bookstores, but it was big enough. I passed the manga and graphic novels and a shelf full of fancy writing books before I reached the fiction. My eyes roved over the spines of books before stopping abruptly at _Douglas Adams_. I reached up, standing on my tippy-toes, and pulled it out from the shelf. _The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy_? I believe I had seen the movie of it. I found it entirely amusing to think that someone would write the universe off as a weird and paradoxical type place and even though I knew what it was like, just the thought of it being so strange amused me. I knew for a fact that the book was the original and, therefore, would have more than the movie. I opened the book, my eyes hungry for the words and my mind ready and waiting like a dry sponge for water.

Suddenly, I got a whiff of something. It was faint, but getting stronger and overriding the scent of the rich chocolate and sweetness of marshmellows I knew Mrs Pinchbeck was making for me. It was faint and smelt so much like the books, but there was something else laced with it. Must; a tinge of sweat and something woodsy. Crushed leaves. My gaze darkened. Gohan! A few more sniffs told me he was behind the Philip Pullman display. Now I was annoyed. Pretending as though I didn't suspect that someone was spying on me (and, more than likely, had been since I left the house), I shifted back so that my bottom was nearly resting on the edge of the table with the display. The scent of musty books and leaves got stronger and I was now 100 certain he was right behind me. A tinge of sweat and fear confirmed that. I moved to look like I was going to perch on top, but at the last minute I slipped down and pushed the display over. A cry confirmed that I had caught the bastard.

Gohan was covered quite nicely with a good number of _The Northern Lights_ and _The Amber Spyglass_, just to name a few. The quick little plan of mine had worked nicely because I knew, being the good little boy that he is, he wouldn't just run away while a stack of books were about to fall to the ground. Being his father's son had ingrained the habit to 'save'. His dark head popped out from the pile and he looked irritated for a second until he caught me glaring at him. He looked utterly horrified.

"Gohan," I said curtly. "Fancy meeting you here."

His cheeks started to burn red.

"Ah…ahm…V-Vegeta! Erm…" I crossed my arms as he floundered through what I knew would be an inexcusably pathetic explanation. I really didn't want to listen.

"What the hell are you doing here? It's…" I turned to look up at the clock that hung over the front door. My eyes widened in horror and I snapped back to glare at him. "Half-past three!" He cringed.

"Vegeta, I just…well…"

"You have lessons, Gohan! You're paying a hefty tuition fee to learn…oh! I don't damn well know what the hell you're studying and neither do I care! But you're paying a lot and now you're skipping out on lessons! I don't give a damn that you're missing them…BUT DON'T FUCKING MISS THEM TO FUCKING WELL _STALK_ ME!"

I was huffing, Gohan was turning the brightest shade of red I've ever seen and we were being stared at by quite a few people. But I didn't care. I had reached my limit! I was already being hounded at home and now while I was having a little private time? I clenched my hands into tight fists; I really wanted to smack that child's face left, right and centre so he would remember just how awful I really am.

"Vegeta! What's going on?" I turned to see Mrs Pinchbeck come running towards us. She stopped as soon as she saw the sight. "What happened?"

"It's nothing, Vianne," I ground out, still glaring at the brat. "Just someone I know."

"Who is he?"

I narrowed my gaze. The child was smart enough to understand that it meant 'introduce yourself, you moron!'

"Oh! I'm…er…Son Gohan."

"A friend of Vegeta's? I know it doesn't look that way, considering his outburst."

Gohan's cheeks flushed even more and mine started to burn slightly. I hadn't really wanted to cause a scene.

"Y-yeah. I just…surprised him."

I snorted and crossed my arms. Mrs Pinchbeck just raised her brows, but took his word.

"Alright, deary. I believe you. But, next time, rather go right up to him and talk to him. I don't think he likes having people watching him." She was right about that one. I've been watched by numerous men and women, obviously interested in my physical appearance. But I'd always snap and be obscenely rude. Vianne didn't exactly approve, but she acknowledged it as a part of me. She never did go prying, bless her. That, and she even agreed that her bookstore was a bookstore; not a pick-up shop.

"I'm…sorry."

"No harm done. Well…maybe only for the poor books and Vegeta's nerves, but other than that, no harm done. Why don't you go sit with Vegeta over there?" she pointed out to four single couches in one corner. "I believe you have some explaining to do." He nodded and we walked over to the couches. They were mainly for people who wanted to read a bit before being certain that was the book they wanted. I used them to sit in after I bought my books, but I didn't want to go home. Gohan slid into the one across to the right of me; hands clasped tightly together and staring at the floor. This action annoyed me even more I and I just wanted to slap him! Stalking me and now sitting and looking like he's the victim! Well, fuck him!

"So how long?"

"Huh?"

"How long have you been following me?"

His cheeks turned red again.

"I-I…I don't know…"

"Yes, you _do_ know, Son Gohan. How the hell long have you been following me?"

"Since…god…" he mumbled, burying his head into his hands. "Since…you left Capsule Corp."

My cheeks started to burn with embarrassment and anger.

"_What?_"

"I'm sorry, Vegeta! It's just that…I landed in the gardens and as I came around I saw you walking out of the place and onto the streets! I figured you didn't want to see me that day, but I wanted to talk to you because I knew I had lectures in two hours so I followed you out! I wanted to go up to you and tell you I was there, but then you entered _Rose Black_ and when you picked up a jersey, I didn't want to go up to you, but I kept following you because I _wanted_ to go up to you and tell you I was there, but every time you went into a store and picked up something I lost my will! I completely didn't want to go up to you when you were looking at the boxers and I knew I had missed out the beginning of my lectures so even though I felt bad I kept following you and I…I…I'm so sorry, Vegeta!"

As expected, Gohan's excuse was the saddest thing I had ever heard. He definitely took after his father. Despite his honesty, it didn't make me feel any less angry or violated.

"So what? You think I'm just going to tell you that it's okay? That it was an honest mistake and next time you should just tell me so I won't feel so paranoid? For fuck's sakes, Gohan! If you saw me walking out and you knew, you fucking _knew_ that I didn't want to see you, why the hell did you still follow me?"

His gaze was now pinned to the floor.

"Because…I wanted to be with you."

I was floored. My anger hadn't drained away, but it just suddenly got blocked. Every cruel word that wanted to slip from my mouth was suddenly stuck and I found myself remembering a certain someone who had said the exact same thing.

"_I don't see why you're being so paranoid, Vegeta. I'm sorry if I annoy you, but you won't look at me, otherwise. Please, I know you're scared and…don't give me that look! You know you are! Hell, I am, too! But just give me a chance. Just one chance to prove that I'm not going to hurt you. I never want you to ever hurt. I…just want to be with you."_

It had shocked me then as it did now. I couldn't believe that he had wanted to be with me _because_ of me. It just seemed ludicrous! But he had, indeed, proved that it was everything that I was that attracted him. Could Gohan…possibly be trying to do the same? I knew I wasn't attractive to him in that sense; I wasn't to anyone. But he liked me for some reason or other and despite everything in the past and my terrible attitude and temper he still followed me because he wanted to be with me. My anger was still there, but it was no longer as burning or vengeful as before. Now I was just irritated that the brat couldn't have come up to me in the first place.

"Moron."

I could tell he was looking up at me, but I looked away. What he said brought up too many memories of things that I hadn't resolved, yet. Well, if I was running away from the problem of Bulma and my relationship then it's obvious there were still things from my time on Frieza's ship that were still with me.

"A-are…are you mad?"

"Of course I'm mad! You didn't tell me you were following me! What if I sensed you, but thought you were some gay rapist or someone who wanted to kill me for thrills?"

"Gay rapist?"

"You know what I mean!"

"Sorry. I guess…I didn't think. I already knew you would be mad if you knew that I was following you. I guess I thought that if I stuck it out until after my lectures were over then you wouldn't be the wiser."

I raised a brow.

"Gohan. I'm Saiya-jin and know it. If it's not your ki, it's something else that's Saiya-jin."

"I didn't think about that."

"Obviously."

"Here we are." Mrs Pinchbeck came with a tray of two mugs of hot chocolate and a plate of jam tarts. "I thought the chatting may take a while, and neither of you may leave until it's sort out!"

"Don't worry, Vianne. You'll probably be the first between the three of us to know when it's been resolved."

"I can't help it. This _is_ my bookstore." She leaned over and whispered into my ear. "Go easy on the lad. He looks like he likes you."

"Maybe, but I'm trying to get through to him that his fondness for me does not and should not include stalking."

She tittered and gave me a coquettish smirk.

"Ah…tough love."

My cheeks started to burn with mortification as she walked off. Damn woman! Has she been into her yaoi again?

"Um…Vegeta? Who is that?" Great. First an old pervert and now the inquisition.

"That's Vianne Pinchbeck. She owns this store and wipe that look off your face because I'm _not_ having an affair with her. Something makes me think she'd slap you herself if she knew that you were accusing her of such a thing."

"Oh. Then how does she know you?"

"Obviously I've been coming to this store for a long time."

He frowned, still not quite believing me.

"Then what did she say to make you blush?"

I bristled.

"I did not _blush_! And it was just something perverted. I think she may have gotten into her old stash of yaoi again…"

"Yaoi?"

"Look it up." He pouted, just like his father when I refused to tell him something. "Don't look at me like that! How old are you? Five? I'm not telling you and that's that!"

"Okay." He grumbled. "So…how long have you known her?"

"Long enough to know that she's been widowed three times, has one son and is dating another woman."

Hot chocolate spouting from his nostrils and I let out a small bark of laughter. That was rather random, but funny.

"She's…well…"

"No, she's not a homosexual, you homophobe." I snapped. "She just happened to meet this woman and they found that they liked each other more than friends. Besides, they're both old enough and mature enough to make their own decisions. And they're not hurting anyone."

"That's true…" Finally, the brat understood that I wasn't cheating. It's just not in me. As much as of a bastard I am I still want just one person in my life to fill in everything. Despite my past, I somehow found myself wanting to hang on to the best rather than take what I want when I have the chance. Emotions have always been messy and complicated and I found that I'd rather avoid it as best I can. "So…she's a widow?"

"Three times. Her son she had by her second husband. They all befell illness and accident; I think one was because of that Lord Slug Kakarotto had told me about. The other was a brain tumor and the other was brutally beaten by some robbers."

"Oh. She doesn't look sad."

"She said it happened a long time ago. She's about fifty-seven now and I think her last husband died when she was going to be forty. It's enough time to get past it." He didn't say anything, but merely nodded and continued to sullenly mop up the mess he made.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you…" I shrugged.

"Bulma seems to be keen on the thought. It's only natural that her closest friends should believe her." He blushed and looked ashamed. "Oh, come on! I didn't mean it in a bad way! It's just a fact."

"Maybe, but it still doesn't change the fact that you've been with us for a long time, too, and I didn't stop to think about it. I know you…not so well, but you never liked any contact. Why you would be cheating seemed kinda…weird."

"Finally, you get it."Silence reigned after that. I slowly sipped my hot chocolate, tonguing the small pink and white marshmellows that bobbed up and down on the surface. I was still upset at having been deceived and accused like that; there was no doubt about it. But Gohan's company was actually…pleasant. Maybe it had always been, but I just needed to let out some steam before realizing it. I wasn't sure. Once again, I was reminded why I wasn't too fond of emotions. Here I was sitting with the boy who had made a sudden invasion into my sheltered life and had been stalking me for the better part of the day, drinking hot chocolate and making small talk about Vianne Pinchbeck. If that wasn't a twist, then I don't know what is.

"That's a good book."

"Pardon?"

"_The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy_. It's a good book. You wanting to buy it?"

"Yes. When did you read it?"

"Orange Star High. We had it for literature study. It's weird and sort of twisted. I couldn't help but wonder if the universe was really that bizarre because I don't remember it being so strange when I was traveling to Namek."

"Each planet is different, I'll admit. But it's nothing like what they make it out in the movie. I'm trying to see just what Mr Adams thought, seeing as this is the original. I certainly didn't spot any giant machines that could calculate the meaning of life and I definitely don't know of any planets that's solely dedicated to government-type aliens who have papers for each and every little thing, including getting yourself out of jail."

"You've seen the movie?"

"I enjoyed it."

"Then you'll love the book! Umm…can I spoil it a bit for you?"

"Not too much."

"Well, there is this part where they go the restaurant and a cow comes up to them and asks them what part of it they want to eat and how well done they want it."

"Bizarre! No creature _wants_ to get eaten!"

"Read it and find out. I actually laughed when I read it. I think I may have pulled the same expression as the human did!"

"I might have, too! In fact, if something came up to me begging me to eat it, I don't think I would have."

"Same here! I mean, something just _wanting_ to be eaten? There's got to be something wrong with it?"

"And not just mentally." Gohan laughed at that and I found my belly warming and squirming at the thought that I made him laugh. "I've also got to hound Vianne for _Thanks for all the fish_."

"Wasn't that the song the dolphins sang?"

"The second most intelligent creature on earth? Given the way some of these humans behave I inclined to believe Mr Adams." I chuckled. "It's actually another one of his books that he wrote. I assume in making the movie they stole the title and created it into a song for the opening credits. Catchy, though."

From there, we just didn't stop talking. This was probably the first time in years since I had spoke to someone so freely and felt comfortable about it. It might have been because we were speaking about books, which was a very open and comfortable topic. It wasn't personal and we could put out our own views and opinions without having to worry about any real objection. I had always known Gohan was clever, but how he discussed his favorite books and the books that he felt needed burning made me appreciate his high intelligence. We spoke until it was nearly eight 'o clock and Vianne kicked us out. Gohan had grumbled a bit at that, but I just laughed and told him she had a date with her girlfriend. She never bothered kicking me out, otherwise. I had gone home feeling so much more…elated. Much happier than I had ever been. Trunks had noticed and seemed a bit suspicious, but once I started spending some time with him I assume my happiness had rubbed off and he was off and away, chatting about his day. I even admitted that I was with Gohan because the brat had been stalking me. He laughed and made some very nasty remarks that reminded me of dear Mrs Pinchbeck after a solid weekend of nothing but yaoi. I wondered when my son became a pervert, but I dismissed it. Bulma had almost put the damper on it. Even though Gohan knew I wasn't the unfaithful one, my happiness made Bulma think I had spent the day with my 'mistress'. She demanded to know what happened, but I avoided her. I still didn't want anything to do with her. And, ironically, she wanted to bitch at me about a lack of fidelity when she smelt like three different men. My mood nearly soured but when I opened _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_, I returned to my happy mood, if not feeling a bit nostalgic about it.

Gohan was nice. He was sweet and very kind, and I felt ashamed that I had treated him like a festering scab for the past three weeks. But I knew that I had plenty of time to make up for it. Some part of me was screaming not to open up again. I had been hurt too many times to count and becoming friends with the son of Kakarotto was just another opening to be hurt again. But he wouldn't do it on purpose. I knew Gohan well enough to know he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize this new friendship we had. I had never had a friend since Kakarotto and now he was gone. Gohan had come to fill that place, and even though I was as scared as hell, it was also very thrilling.

"_Please, I know you're scared and…don't give me that look! You know you are! Hell, I am, too! But just give me a chance. Just one chance to prove that I'm not going to hurt you. I never want you to ever hurt. I…just want to be with you."_

Definitely not in the same way, but enough to make me happy. And I wanted to be happy.


	5. Falling

**Chapter Four**

**Falling **

**Gohan POV**

I was still ashamed of myself for stalking the older man. Vegeta had a right to privacy as much as anyone else did, but I suppose some of my childish memories made it seem like Vegeta was still the evil alien I had always envisioned him to be and I put his personal rights aside. I was very much a man now and I should have known better. So much better! I had expected Vegeta to threaten to dismember me if I ever came within a twenty kilometer radius of him, but he had been surprisingly hospitable. That just made me feel even worse, but I deserved it.

Goten had been furious with me for missing dinner and coming home so later without any warning. It reminded me of mom for a second, but at the same time he wasn't anything like mom. Mom would scream and then wail on how I was becoming some sort of delinquent and joining gangs. Goten was more…lecturing. He reminded me more of a mixture of mom and Vegeta. I know those two hated each other; family gatherings were never fun because they were too much alike. I suppose it was only natural that Goten was like mixture between the two. Mom was his mother and Vegeta was like a father to him. So I was lectured about manners and punctuality and asked exasperatedly that if I was going to be late to inform him so he wouldn't worry. It surprised me to see Goten like this, and I felt a little angry. Had I missed that much on my baby brother's life even though I had always been with him? Just the fleeting thought made me feel inadequate and I was reminded of Vegeta that evening. I didn't pay much attention to the world around me, did I? It's a no wonder so many things take me by surprise. Still, I didn't want to let such a thought ruin my good mood. Vegeta had said he had read _Sherlock Holmes and the Hound of the Baskervilles_, didn't he? Maybe I should visit him and have another chat. It couldn't hurt, could it?

* * * *

When I went to visit Vegeta the next day during the break between my two classes, I was immediately reprimanded. He had insisted that during the week I concentrate on my work and when the weekend comes I can visit as often as I liked and stayed as late as I liked. I would be lying if I said I wasn't slightly hurt, but he had a point. It was only during the middle of my second classes that I realized that he had been thinking of my wellbeing and looking out for me. I blushed hotly and felt stupid that I was getting worked up over such a thing. But the thought never left me and in the odd moments that I wasn't doing anything, I found myself thinking about it and blushing all over again.

When the weekend came, Vegeta lived up to his promise. He let me in his room and allowed me to see his collection. I was amazed! I thought my love of books was something, but Vegeta had enough to rival that Mrs Pinchbeck's bookshop! There were books just about everywhere! I was even slightly horrified to see him retrieve one from his bathroom! At the look of my face, though, he clarified that that bathroom didn't have a toilet. He would _never_ put his books in there if there was a toilet in there. It was a strange thing to admit, but for some unknown reason it made sense. We spoke for hours about quite a few books. I didn't have to worry about the time, seeing as dad was out camping and Goten was visiting Trunks. The same happened on Saturday and Sunday was equally as pleasant. There was just something about talking to Vegeta that made me feel so comfortable. I suppose it's because I'm mature enough to put aside the past and view him for who he is, rather than what little I remember.

That weekend gave way to the next weekend, and the following one after that. I'm not even certain how it happened, but within the time we spent together on weekends, I had somehow got permission to phone him during the weeks in the evenings. I was beyond thrilled the reminder that this was Vegeta made me a little nervous. As comfortable as we were talking now, the man was still intimidating and gave off a strong aura of one you should, under no circumstance, mess with. Oddly enough, instead of merely respecting it as I once had, I now admired it. Our friendship was growing and just the thought of it made my cheeks warm and my belly squirm pleasantly.

But it all changed. Maybe for the better, seeing as the act was already in progress, but it didn't make it any less frightening. It happened on a Tuesday night, just three months after Vegeta and I had been in _Coastliners_. Goten was busying in his room doing his homework. Dad was relaxing inside the living room and I was sitting in my room, next door to Goten's, chatting to Vegeta over the phone.

"But you have to feel for Hannah, Vegeta. I mean, being a woman in those times was pretty hard."

"I do understand. In fact, I think you know that I can not only sympathize, but empathize with her. That's not my point. I haven't got anything against her. It's the man she was supposed to be betrothed to that got on my wick! I agreed wholeheartedly when she divorced him because he lied to her and had a child with another woman. Hannah Green also proved to be more sufficient when she was independent. I liked reading the part where she did things on her own and was her own person."

"Are you saying you're a romantic at heart?"

There was an indignant sputter I could already see his cheeks turning pink and the light scowl on his face.

"No! I'm just stating that loyalty was what those men preached the women and yet they didn't have a shred of it themselves! Even towards their country was questionable."

"Yeah, it's rather hypocritical of them. I suppose you were also angry at Matthew for assuming that the child Hannah was holding was her own and made a big speech about it."

"Of course! The nerve of him! If he is unfaithful and she had left him in the first place I naturally believe that she can do what she wants, then. If it's her child, he should respect it as she respected that fact that he had a child with another woman." He grumbled a few choice profanities afterwards, and I got the feeling that this was somehow _personal_ to him. But I didn't ask. I knew that part of who Vegeta was, was that he demanded complete loyalty and in return gave it tenfold.

"At least he tried to make up for it. I bet he must have been tortured over the fact that he knew he did some terrible and irreversible and the woman he had come to love didn't want anything to do with him."

"He tried, but when something like that happens there is very little forgiveness. I suppose you can see from the other person's point of view, but that's as much as you can do. You can never forgive them for their infidelity and lies because they knew very well what they were doing."

I couldn't help but notice that the tone he used sounded like he was familiar with this. Instinct had always been my guide and now my instincts were telling me that Vegeta was currently going through a familiar situation. I didn't understand how, but I just felt it. But I understood as well what he meant.

"I think I know what you mean."

"Really? That Satan girl doesn't seem like the type to cheat."

"Actually it's been over for us for a while now."

"Really? And does anyone know of this?"

"Just Goten and my dad."

He was silent for a bit.

"What happened?"

"She tried taking over the house and filling in the role of mom. Goten hated it and I think dad didn't like it either because he kept avoiding the house whenever she was here. She was really trying to fill a role that she could never fill."

"What about you? How did you feel about it?"

"I didn't notice at first, but once I did I found that it was really irritating. And she wouldn't let up, either. She'd get upset if things weren't seen her way and I ended up dumping her in a really cruel way. I feel sort of bad."

"Sort of? Why not fully?"

"Because…I don't know. I guess some part of me feels that she deserved it. I mean, she threatened to break it off with me if Goten didn't start being more hospitable. That's not exactly something that says the relationship it stable."

"I don't think anyone should say nor do such a thing over a trivial matter. It makes the person seem shallow and the relationship seems like nothing." There was a muffled sound coming from the other end, one I recognized as Bulma banging on the door. "I've got to go."

"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow night?"

"Any time."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."There was a click and the line went dead.

"You were talking to Vegeta again, weren't you?"

My head jerked up and I saw Goten standing in my doorway. He reminded me very much of the man I had just spoken with, standing in the doorway with his arms lightly crossed and leaning against the frame. The expression was similar, too. He was staring at me with some calculation in his eyes, none of which was malicious, but unnerving all the same. It gave the impression that he could see right through me.

"Hey, Goten! Yeah, I was just chatting to him."

"I heard." He shuffled into my room and sat on the edge of my bed. "You guys seem to be talking a lot."

I scowled.

"Please don't tell me you think something is going on between us? Vegeta has already mentioned that Trunks is giving him weird looks, like we're having some sort of an affair."

He blanched and blushed.

"No! No, I don't…I mean…I don't think that! Well…maybe a little, but I know that you guys aren't doing anything more than talking. And if you were, it's okay." It was my turn to blush. "Besides, Trunks isn't thinking like that, either. He's just jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Of you."

"What on earth for?"

"Because he's seen how happy Mr Vegeta is after you guys have spent time together or have been talking."

"Oh. But Vegeta also is happy after he's spent time with Trunks, you know?"

"I know. But you're…different. Trunks has spoken to me about this a lot and…well…I kinda wanted to talk to you about it. I really don't like seeing him get so worked up. He knows he doesn't know what's going on, but he's still jealous that you can make Mr Vegeta glow."

"I make him glow?"

"You know, from happiness. You've even been glowing yourself after you guys have been together." I stared at him in disbelief. Glowing? He was making it sound like something out of a romance novel. "He's jealous, but sort of happy. Things have been going on in the family. I'm sure you know."

"I'm not sure. All Vegeta and I speak of is books. That's our common ground. I don't think he'd give me the time of day any other way."

He scowled.

"That's a really stupid thought! Mr Vegeta does like you. You're the one who has been coming off like he's weird or something."

My cheeks started to burn and the shame came back.

"I-I…do?"

"You did. Mr Vegeta really likes being with you and I can see you like being with him. But can I get back to what I was saying?"

"Umm…okay." I was starting to feel a little weird after what Goten had just said.

"Well, Trunks knows that something strange is going on between Mr Vegeta and his mom. His mom says that Mr Vegeta is seeing another lady and that's why she's angry with him, but Trunks says even though she says this, he can't believe her."

"Why is that? Not that I believe it, either, just…how did he come to that conclusion?"

"He says it's the way his dad smells and behaves. Before you came along, he said his dad was really miserable and seemed happier to be with him than anyone else. I guess that's why he's jealous."

"Because…now that I'm spending more time with him he's happier all the time?"

"Most of the time. Trunks says his dad is only miserable when his mom is in the same room as him. He says that's what sort of makes him believe his mom, but he still doesn't fully. You understand, right?"

"Yes."

"So, I just wanted to talk to you so I can tell Trunks what's going on."

"Well…umm…Vegeta and I really just talk about books."

"That's it?"

"Pretty much. I suppose it's because we can talk about something we both know rather than I tell him something and he tells me something, you know?"

Goten seemed to contemplate the thought before nodding in acceptance. Which was good, because not even I was certain anymore.

"That sounds reasonable. But I bet Mr Vegeta has told you a lot by speaking through books."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know how to explain this, but Trunks and I noticed that everything Mr Vegeta says or does has some underlying thing to it. Like when he just stares at you after you say something, it's kind of like he's silently telling you that the remark was stupid."

"That I've noticed."

"Yeah, it's things like that." He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Okay, well, I just wanted to talk to you about it. Trunks says that over the past three weeks his dad has been acting a little more hostile to his mom. I don't mean he does anything bad, he just glares at her and avoids her."

"So, in short, you're wanting to know if I know anything about his strange behavior?" He blushed and looked away sheepishly.

"Sort of."

"I'm afraid I don't. We really just talk about books. I mean, I tell him some things of my life, but he never gives a hint of what's happening in his."

"Oh. Okay. I'm sorry for bothering you."

"It's fine."

"Hey! Goten! Can you help me make some dessert? I'm kind of in the mood for that chocolate mousse you made last week." My dad called from the kitchen.

"Coming!" he called back. "Well, I'd better go."

I ruffled his head and grinned at him, sending him off to help dad in the kitchen. It was great that Goten had something he liked doing other than training. It was actually a huge weight off my shoulder to know that there would be always something to make him happy.

But my thoughts returned to our conversation and I found myself feeling slightly…bothered by what he had said. I knew Vegeta and I were getting along, but did he have to insinuate that we got along _that_ well? I mean, I know what he meant by underlying messages. Vegeta had a ton of those. Like his eyes. When angry, they'll narrow slightly. When he's very angry and wanting to cause grievous bodily harm, they'll narrow into thin slits and the corner of his mouth will twitch, like he's restraining himself from baring his fangs. And he most certainly does have fangs!

My thoughts halted as I suddenly realized that I had just defined his two different types of anger. I don't think anyone has been able to do that, or at least taken notice and for a moment I decided that it was because Vegeta and Piccolo were very much alike. I had grown accustom to Piccolo's mannerisms that I knew when he was content or genuinely angry. But I couldn't deny that it was still different. Very different. I knew that when Piccolo didn't want to show anything, his eyes would twitch. At times, his antenna twitched, too, but I couldn't ever define those into emotions. Piccolo was a fairly simple guy next to Vegeta. The more I realized this, the more my stomach dropped into my boots. I actually knew that when Vegeta was nervous, he would rub his index finger and thumb together, regardless of where he positioned his hands. When he was upset, he would appear as though he was looking at you, but he would always be looking just over your shoulder. When he was interested in something, he always bit and nibbled his lower lip. Vegeta also never took off his gloves and he was sensitive about it, too.

Something like this shouldn't have bothered me. After all, it was just a few observations I have made after being in Vegeta's company for so long. There was nothing wrong or strange about it. But I knew that I was lying. There was no little observation to all this. I knew for a fact that whenever Vegeta's lips pursed, I had said something he didn't agree with but wasn't about to say anything about it. When his eyes became half-mast in concentrating, my eyes would just stay glued to him, which is how I know that he nibbles his lower lip when his mind is working. When his lips parted slightly to breathe a little deeper or to lick his lips, my cheeks would start to burn and everything just got hotter. When he sat talking to me, relaxing with one hand resting on his thigh and the other on his stomach, my stomach would squirm and my fingers just had this itch to touch him.

My cheeks started to burn and I was suddenly very aware that I had a crush on Vegeta. My stomach dropped from my boots right through the floor and my heart started hammering away. I couldn't possibly have a crush on Vegeta! He was the Saiya-jin no Ouji! Not that it makes any difference on earth, I'm sure, but he's a male! And, to add to that, he's older than I am. He's married and fathered a child with dad's best friend! How could have developed a crush over him? But as I started to think about it logically as opposed to spazz sporadically by my desk, I realized and understood that there were many qualities that made Vegeta attractive to me. I had already named a few, but there were a few more. The fact that he was intelligent and could hold a good argument without becoming childish at any point was something I liked. He also had the ability to understand every persons perception, but always seemed to pick the one that he liked best. He had impeccable table manners, he was tediously tidy despite the pile of books stacked in his room, he cared more for what a person could do rather than how they looked, he was never afraid to ask any questions he needed answering, he hated seafood but loved pasta, his hair reflected just how tense he was at a particular moment and he was particularly sensitive when someone touched his sides,; shivering and shuddering slightly.

The last thought in that list made me turn a brighter red than I have in my entire life and I buried my head in my arms. How could this happen? So what if Vegeta had so many admirable qualities and looked lip-smackingly gorgeous to boot? In all my years of knowing him, I've never once thought of him as attractive in any shape or form. But, as I think over that point again, I never knew him as a child. It was only recently that I've begun to understand him as an individual, and that has made all the difference. But that still didn't account for the gender or the age difference. I lamented over the issue for a few more minutes before rationally deciding that it was actually okay. It was fine to have a crush on Vegeta. It was just a twisted way of knowing that I admired him and it would cool down. Crushes never last long, so why worry?

* * * *

Sadly, by our next Friday evening meeting, I realized that this was no crush. After taking in the prince's lithe form snugly covered in a thick crimson jersey, jeans and socks and still salivating, I realized it was more than a crush. If it was a crush, it certainly bordered on obsessive and that was a frightening thought. For the whole of the evening I was torn between admiring the way he moved, the way he spoke, the deep baritone of his voice and his overall beautiful appearance and between smacking myself for every perverted thought that accompanied them. At the end of it all, I was paranoid that he knew that I liked him more than a friend. I don't think he noticed, but I knew him well enough to know that he can see the things we don't _want_ him to see. The real clincher to the evening that forced me to admit to myself that I was, indeed, falling in love with him was when he showed his concern for me. I had been blushing a good deal thanks to my sudden perverted overload and Vegeta had mistaken it for a fever. He reached out and lifted up my chin, looking into my eyes and inspecting them. I know he was looking for signs of illness, but the intimacy of such an act made my body heat up even more and my heart leapt to my throat. He had noticed the sudden rise in temperature and, heaven help me, pressed his forehead against mine. My heart stopped, my brain died but my testosterone proved it was still alive and active by 'rising to the occasion'. Vegeta had remarked that I didn't look so well and insisted that I go home and rest. All the while he seeing me out, he muttered and grumbled about 'pushing cubs too far, too soon' and 'if he doesn't die now, his career will certainly kill him'. I was falling in love with Vegeta. In thinking about it that evening whilst I was at home, I realized that I may have been in love with him for quite some time, now. Maybe I had been in love with him when I stalked him? I wasn't sure, but I couldn't be bothered about the where and when. It had happened and I was stuck in it.

That evening, I masturbated. I was no virgin having had a girlfriend for three years, but doing it was strange and felt new, even though it really wasn't. My heart had never hammered so hard as I stroked myself, my breathing had never hitched or been as ragged before as I imagined doing things to him and I definitely don't remember shuddering or even moaning as I came. It seemed absurd that in the few days that I've realized I love him and the hours since I've accepted it that I should be thinking about him in such a physical manner, but that's just what happened. My only fear now that I had accepted this was that someone would find out. I couldn't let that happen. I didn't want anyone to find out; especially not Vegeta! Whilst my imagination ran rampant at the thought of the now slender prince splayed out on a bed and coyly beckoning me forward, I knew it couldn't be so. The fact remained that he was with someone already. It wouldn't change. So, for that weekend, I masturbated every day after seeing him.

Monday came and we went back to our telephone chats. Vegeta kept pestering me to see if I was better, and whilst it annoyed me I also felt ecstatic that he was actually after my wellbeing despite the weekend having gone past. For some reason, I could hear a tremble in his voice. It was as though he wanted to say something, but whatever it was just refused to come out. It worried me, mainly because I was terrified that he wanted to tell me that he knew I had fallen for him and I couldn't do that. But nothing of the sort happened. Tuesday came, and the same. Then Wednesday. Soon it was Saturday and Vegeta hadn't approached me. The tremble was still in his voice and I noticed each day that it got a little stronger. My paranoid thought was still there, but some part of my brain that was still functioning told me it wasn't about me at all. I hardly knew Vegeta's private life aside from his books and training, so I hadn't the faintest idea what else could have been bothering him. Nevertheless, it worried me. He was never an open person to begin with, but it seemed to me as though he was hiding something that bothered him terribly. I never asked, though. I had already gotten snapped at for asking why he keeps wearing his gloves and at the time I thought it was a very innocent question.

Three weeks later, Vegeta had all but given up on talking. At first, he said very little. But as time went by he started saying less and less until every time I chatted to him on the phone, I either got a grunt or a very short sentence in reply. My paranoia that he knew of my love for him grew with the change, but I couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't something else. Vegeta was frank and if he knew he would have come straight out and told me he knew. Whatever was going on in his life worried me, but I didn't want to pry.

That Saturday, I decided to visit him just a little earlier. He never skimped out on his training, so even though we mostly talked about books, if I wanted a spar all I had to do was be in the Gravity Room a few minutes before he arrived. I had done it a few times before I realized my infatuation with him and none after that. I didn't need added visuals of a hot and sweaty Saiya-jin no Ouji if my mind was already producing such images as I stroked myself to completion! But this was an exception. As expected, Vegeta came down at six and we sparred for a little bit. I noticed there was a certain lack in his fighting and it made me all the more concerned. Thankfully, we didn't go on for too long. I had insisted that we stop because he was so distracted. I had gotten too many direct hits on him and even though I could see it hurting him, he never picked up the pace. For a seasoned warrior such as himself, it was unheard of! He didn't even put up a fight as he walked out the GR, gently toweling the sweat off his toffee skin. I followed. By this time, my curiosity had reached its limit and I was dying to know just what was wrong.

"Hey, Vegeta? You look like you need something to eat."

"It's okay," he said softly. "I'm not hungry."

"I insist! You have to eat. Soup is great and all, but you need something solid in your stomach. You're moving sluggishly and you look like you haven't slept much." I said honestly. I got a glare in return, but it wasn't nearly as potent as it should have been. "Come on. Just one little solid thing and then we can get back to whatever you want to do."

He grumbled a bit, but sighed and allowed me to lead him to the kitchen. Trunks was seated at the table with a book and an array of pancakes, eggs, bacon and other sorts of breakfast foods. He jumped to his feet when he saw his dad enter the room and started kicking up a fuss.

"Hey, papa! You're looking awfully thin. Why don't you have some breakfast with me? There's plenty to go around?"

"I'm not that hungry, son…"

"Come on, papa! Please? I haven't seen you eat anything this whole week. The soup grandma makes for you has been sitting there; untouched. And I know you haven't been eating anything else because you've hardly left your room." I was stumped. Vegeta's face remained impassive, but I could see the guilt swimming in his eyes.

"I don't think…"

"Just a small plate, papa. Please? I'm not asking for much. Please?"

As a hardened man as Vegeta was, he couldn't say no to a child begging. Goten and Trunks had done it numerous times to him when they were still kids, but I could see even now that Trunks was looking more like a man than a boy, Vegeta still saw him as his little boy. He sighed and reluctantly shuffled into a chair on the opposite side of Trunks whilst he was dished up a plate of pancakes with sausages, eggs and bacon. He accepted it with an awkward smile, one I'm sure he used to try and show Trunks that he appreciated it even if he couldn't say it. He seemed to understand, because he simply moved back to his end of the table and continued to eat and read. Trunks must have also known that something was amiss with his father, but he knew well enough not to say anything.

"Hey, is it alright if I steal some of your food, too?"

"Go ahead. Grandma pretty much cooks up a storm. In fact, she always seems to cook too much. I could never figure that out." I merely smiled and grabbed a plate for myself.

Vegeta ate slowly; pushing his food about sulkily and taking small bites that were minute compared to normal Saiya-jin chomps. I kept an eye out for him and Trunks appeared to be doing so, too. He seemed to be aware that we were checking on him from the corner of our eyes, but he ate all the food. I assume he wouldn't have done so normally, but this was his son asking.

"Would you like something warm to drink, papa?"

"It's fine."

"But you're shivering." Vegeta blinked owlishly before looking down at his hands. For the oddest of reasons I could only understand then why Trunks was being so nice to his dad. Aside from the fact that he had been watching him and had noticed that he hadn't eaten at all that week, Vegeta seemed more gaunt and frail than ever. I'll admit, he had slimmed down immensely, but now he was looking on the verge of anorexic and that couldn't be good for someone of our metabolic rate. Also dressed in a thick black jersey, he looked very small; almost as though he was drowning in it. It was also doing nothing to keep out the chill of winter setting in.

"I'm fine," he grunted.

"Papa," Trunks started. "I'm…I'm worried about you. Really. Over these past few weeks, you've been acting really…_distant_. I'm not going to ask what it is, but I'm worried about you. It's like something bad has happened and you don't want to tell anyone."

By now he was avoiding all eye contact. He surprised me by answering though, even if it was softly.

"It is."

"And you can't tell anyone?"

"No."

"Not even me."

He shuddered.

"Especially not you."

"But why?"

"Because he's a lying, cheating bastard; that's why!"

Our heads snapped up to see Bulma standing in the doorway. It looked as though she had been there for some time, probably eavesdropping.

"Mom…"

"Shame on you, Vegeta! Making your child pity you like that!"

"I didn't ask for pity, woman!" he ground out, emotion suddenly lacing through his words.

"Well, you're looking for it! And Trunks isn't going to give it to you, you two timer!"

"How the hell am I a two timer?"

"I've been watching you! Everyone knows you haven't eaten this week and I know why! It's because of that bloody woman you've been going to!"

"What fucking woman?"

"Don't play stupid! You haven't gone anywhere this week or eaten at all and I know why! She probably broke up with your sorry arse when she found out you already were married!"

"I haven't been out of my room or eaten for my own reasons which are no fucking concern of yours!" he sneered. "And who says we're married? As far as my knowledge goes, marriage is a consensual act between two people, not a fucking title for someone who just had a child with you!"

"Oh! So you think you can go whoring yourself around just because we're not legally married, is that it? You really are an ungrateful bastard! I've fed and clothed you and put a roof over your head!"

"It's not even your fucking food, clothes or house, woman! Your parent's are doing this out of the goodness of their hearts; something you seem to be missing!"

They were now screaming at each other. It appeared like this had been boiling for some time and now it was boiling right over.

"What would you know about the goodness of someone's heart, you asshole? I know there's another woman because you haven't touched me in two years! And you, being a man, can't hold out for two years without getting a little action so I know you've been cheating! But so long as she's dumped you, I'll say you deserved it, you filthy, low-class alien whore!"

"Whore? _WHORE_?! Who the fuck are you calling a whore, you selfish, narrow minded, pregnant slut!"

There was a sudden deafening silence as those words flew from his mouth. Whatever Bulma had to say suddenly died and she looked shocked.

"W-what?"

"Oh, I'm sorry? Did I stutter? Or is this news to you, too? You're pregnant. Congratulations. And, best yet, I know the father isn't _me_."

"I…I-I…you…h-how do you know?"

"I'm a fucking Saiya-jin, woman. You've been around Kakarotto for most of your fucking childhood and you've somehow forgotten that we can _smell_ these things. And, yes," his eyes narrowed as she paled. "That's also the other reason why I haven't touched you in two fucking years. I wasn't about to touch some whore who has been sleeping with majority of the male staff. And trust me;I know it's the majority of the male staff. I've known for two years, Bulma!" he suddenly screamed. "And during all that time, all that time you've been accusing me of sleeping with someone else behind your back you've been spreading your legs to every man that appeals to you! I know for a fact that the one 'business meeting' you had to attend was no fucking meeting at all. You STANK like sex and you didn't just smell like him, but at least four other people. Do you know how that fucking pissed me off? To be called the cheater when the fucking idiot who is accusing me of such things is blatantly doing it as though it didn't matter? Fucking slut! I loved you, you bitch! I actually thought that you sincerely cared for me! But after seeing you splayed out on your desk without a care in the world that someone could just walk into your office, I figured you were just another fucking liar! I despised you for doing that, and then I loathed you for telling everyone that I was the one who was doing the bad thing; not you, the tart who spends her weeks with eight different men…yes, eight! I counted. But now…now after I smelt the change, the hormones and all that says you're carrying a child…I. Fucking. _HATE_. You."

Bulma stared with wide eyes as did Trunks and I. Bulma was the cheater? It made sense, but for some reason I couldn't believe it. Bulma had turned pale and Vegeta's cheeks were bright red and he was shaking all over.

"I…V-Vegeta…"

"Don't. Just, fucking don't. I don't care about you, anymore. I've put up with your shit just so that everyone could go about their peaceful little lives. But no. You wanted to fucking bring all this shit up and blame me for everything. Fuck you, Bulma. Better yet, go get the father of your bastard to fuck you. If you know who the asshole is." With that, stalked out the kitchen. I could hear his boots thudding against the carpeted stairs.

My heart had dropped solidly. I knew that Vegeta was loyal to a certain degree and I knew that a plain physical relationship was always beyond him. If he couldn't stand being touched, why would he opt for casual sex? But just the realization that Bulma, the woman I've known since I was four and the person my dad had great respect for had been cheating on the man she claimed was her husband. By now, my stomach was churning uncomfortably and I didn't know what to do.

"Mom."Both Bulma and I looked at Trunks. His eyes were narrowed and he looked every bit like Vegeta. He looked extremely angry. "When were you planning to tell me this?"

"J-just…I don't know. I thought I could after your father and I sort all this out…"

"WHAT IS THERE TO SORT OUT?" he exploded. The table went flying back and all its contents spilled everywhere. "You fucking lied to me, mom! You said that papa was the one that was seeing other people behind your back! You fucking lied to me! Papa has always been…he loved you…papa really…and you…fucking bitch!" he spat, tears starting to flow thickly down his cheeks.

"Trunks…"

She moved to comfort him, but he harshly slapped her hand away.

"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me again! Don't talk to me, don't look at me; don't even think I'm ever going to forgive you for what you did to papa!" he sobbed. "Christ! To think for two years I saw papa…but I listen to you and I…I was so fucking _stupid_! Papa would never…HE'S AT LEAST A LOT MORE FUCKING HONEST THAN YOU'LL EVER BE!!"

Trunks ran out, tears pouring from his eyes. The sight made my heart wrench, and it twisted even further once I saw Bulma with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"G-Gohan," she whimpered.

I may have had sympathy before and somewhere, Bulma was still a good friend to me. But she had hurt and lied to the people that loved her. To me, she reminded me of Videl. For two years she had been telling everyone that Vegeta was the faithless one and instead it was her all along. She was so selfish and I couldn't stand to be anywhere near her.

"Sorry, Bulma," I said to her coldly. "But you've dug your own grave." With that, I turned and quickly made my way to Vegeta's room. I could care less what she did from then on.

I quickly made my way to Vegeta's room. I assumed Trunks was with him but on reaching his door I couldn't feel anyone else's ki but his. Trunks must have locked himself in his own room and I couldn't blame him. He needed some time alone as this was all so sudden. But I knew he'd be okay. It was Vegeta I was worried about. I lightly rapped on the door.

"Piss off!"

"It's me, Vegeta," I said, softly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"May I come in?"

I had expected to have some sort of profanity launched at me through the door, so I was surprised when the door opened to reveal the prince before me. The rims of his eyes were red and he had tears that he obviously was refusing to fall. He quickly stalked out the doorway and back to the bed where he was apparently packing. I moved into the room and shut the door.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yes." Again, a short answer. His voice was hard and I realized that if he spoke any more he'd cry.

"Hey, why don't you come back with me?" he paused and his back stiffened. "It'll be far from West City and it'll be wide in the open. You can have as much space as you want. Please?"

He was stiff for some time and I expected a rant about how he didn't need my pity. But when he just nodded and stood hovering above his open bag I realized just how broken he was. He had been carrying this burden for two years and he kept silent about it, not wanting to rock the boat or make a scene. And now that it finally reached its climax he had nothing left of himself. He had spent it all pretending that everything was okay. A surge of hatred towards Bulma heated my cheeks, but I quickly put that aside as I walked over to him. His eyes were now vacant, like he had retreated inside of himself.

"Hey," I whispered, gently sitting him on his bed. "Let me pack for you." He just nodded, staring blankly into open space. I gathered his clothing; stuffing it as quickly as I could into the bags and capsulating them. I wanted to get him out before either Bulma or Trunks came along. I had nothing against Trunks for wanting to speak with his father about the matter, but Vegeta didn't seem to be in any shape to sympathize. If anything, they both needed someone from outside this whole mess to be with them. I was glad when I felt that Goten was on his way, and just as I finished packing.

"We're going to have to leave your books here for the moment." Dark eyes looked up at me in bewilderment. "Just for now. I'll tell Goten to bring them later. He's coming now. Are you ready?" All I got was a nod, but that was all I needed. I opened the sliding door to his balcony, allowing him to walk through before me before closing it and taking off to home.

* * * *

Vegeta had been silent the whole we had been flying. He didn't seem to be concentrating on anything except where I went, but I could hardly blame him. I could only imagine what he must be feeling. When mom died I felt depressed and like a chunk of me had been blown clean away, but even though it hurt like hell I knew mom wouldn't want me to be sorry for her. Where she is now is a better place and I know that she'd want me to go on with life with everything she taught me. But Vegeta was a different matter. It was no simple case of losing the one he loved. Bulma had betrayed him and continued to hurt him unknowingly. He hadn't just lost someone he loved, but he had to watch as day by day as she flitted about as though nothing was wrong. I couldn't possibly sympathise with him.

By the time we landed at my house it was nearly evening. The air was warm and slightly damp and muggy. I was grateful for the warm weather as I realized Vegeta was wearing nothing but a jersey, sweatpants and socks only when we were flying. Glancing back at him, I saw just how flushed his face had become. His cheeks were a rosy red, but he hardly seemed to acknowledge the heat. I ushered him into the house, quickly seeking out my family's ki. Dad was with Roshi and Krillin on their island and Goten was in West City. I could only imagine what could be going on there, but I had more pressing matters to attend to. I herded him into my room and sat him on the bed.

"Vegeta?" I called.

"Hmm?" He didn't look at me, but answered.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Yes." But I could see he wasn't. I opened my mouth to ask him again when a large drop fell from his face and onto his jersey, making a dark spot. He stared at it as though wondering where on earth it came from before blinking and letting a couple more fat tears roll down the side of his face. My heart ached for him and I wished I had just smacked Bulma while I had been there.

"Vegeta?"

He didn't look up at me. His shoulders started to shiver and I could see the bridge of his nose start to wrinkle. He tipped his head further down, but I was having none of it. He needed to let it out. Let it all out. Two years was too much to hold onto a burden like this. Even for him. Especially for him. I put my arms around his shoulders and gave a tug and that seemed to be all I needed to do. Within a heartbeat his arms circled around my waist and he buried his head into my chest. His shoulders were wracking really hard as he tried to contain himself, and then even harder as he let himself go. He wailed into my chest, trying to muffle the sounds but failing. He sounded so heartbroken and I felt ashamed that I been too caught up in my own selfish paranoia to even see his rapid decline. As he cried, he squeezed my waist and in just a little while after he started he was pretty much climbing into my lap. But I knew he needed this. I scooped him up and ended up cradling him; allowing him to keep his face buried away from my prying eyes. I knew he was crying hard; my shirt felt wet. I circled my arms around him, muttering soft words of encouragement and rubbing his sides soothingly. After the worst of it was over, he nuzzled his face into my neck, still keeping my head away from looking into his, but I didn't mind. I carried on until it was dark.

By the time I finally came back into the world, Vegeta had stopped crying. Instead, he just rest against me. Listening carefully, I could tell that he had fallen asleep against me. My bedside clock read 22:12 and I knew dad would be home soon. Goten probably wouldn't be coming home at all tonight. As gently as I could, I lifted Vegeta up and placed him on my bed. The air was warm and he was still wearing his thick clothing. I wanted to strip him down and put something a lighter on, but I decided it would be best to leave him. Even though he was going through hell, my body didn't understand and insisted that it was time to take advantage of the situation. Stripping him down would just give me a reason to run off to the bathroom and wank and I wouldn't feel good about it. Jerking off whilst the one you loved was going through a really tough time? It was disgusting and shameful! Besides, whilst my cock was just begging to be touched I didn't feel like doing anything remotely sexual. I just wanted to take care of him and make sure that he was going to be okay.

I decided to let him sleep in my bed. I took a spare futon that mom used to keep for guests out of the cupboard and set it out next to the bed. I quickly changed into my sleeping shorts and a vest before setting down under the cool sheets. Looking up, I could see the huddled form that was Vegeta and once again my heart throbbed in pain. I already knew he didn't exactly have a great childhood, but why did his adult life still have to be so full of misery? Was there no joy in his life? Maybe I could be the joy. I know I'm not much and I couldn't possibly make up for all that he's missed out on, but I want to be the one he knows that will never hurt him. I can't promise I won't hurt him at all, but I wouldn't do things selfishly for myself without thinking of him. I wanted to be the one he loved and would know that I'd do pretty much anything for him. I had fallen for him, and fallen very hard. But if there was anyone I would want to fall so badly in love with it was definitely him. And once this mess has been sorted through, maybe; just maybe he'll fall hard for me, too.


	6. Carousel

**Chapter Five**

**Carousel**

**Goku POV**

I awoke to the sun shining in my eyes. I'm quite used to being roused from my sleep in such a way, but not while I was draped across the living room couch. The night at Master Roshi's had been quite an exciting one, or least as exciting as it could get with a family like theirs. Eighteen spent most of her time tending to Marron whilst Krillin, Master Roshi and I sat and drank the evening away. I didn't have as much to drink as they did, but I was never a big drinker. Gohan had drunken more alcohol as a child than I had in my entire life! Nonetheless; two beers and a strawberry daiquiri courtesy of Eighteen still had quite an effect on me. I wasn't hung over, but sleeping on the couch made my body sore. I couldn't even begin to think what Chichi would have said if I came home in such a state and she was still alive. Just the thought of it stung, but it was no where near as painful as it was after she died. Chi was happy in heaven; I knew it. She was safe and out of all harm's way. It didn't mean I didn't miss her, but I knew I'd meet her again, one day. Until then, I resolved to carry on with life.

I groaned as I sat up and my neck gave a painful throb. I decided there was no way I was going to West City today. Even though I had just resolved to finally get out and see my friends, I was just a little too delicate for my likings. Knowing Bulma if I showed up with a few aches and pains and tell her of my night of 'drinking' with Krillin, she's preach on about how alcohol doesn't solve anything. Chi would do the same, but she'd more scream hysterically that I've become some brute alcoholic. In a twisted way, I missed that. No, there was no need to go to Capsule Corp today. I'd just go tomorrow.

I got to my feet and stretched as high as I could. For a brief moment, I took a gander at my reflection in the window. I had really buffed out over the past few months. I knew the only reason why I had trained so intensely was because I was afraid of confronting the issue of Chichi's death, but in its own weird way it made me think a lot more. I got over it and I got a good load of training in.

I walked into the kitchen, half-expecting Goten to be at the stove grilling something for breakfast. I was surprised when it was empty. My nose should have already told me that nothing was going on in there and I wondered where my youngest son could possibly be. The night before when I returned home and checked on my boys', Goten was sleeping on Gohan's bed and Gohan was sleeping on a futon on the floor. Admittedly; Goten looked rather strange, but I assumed it was the alcohol that made it all look strange and brushed it off before collapsing onto the couch. I had just wanted to sit up for a bit and calm my spinning head, but it looks like I fell asleep instead. I was worried because Goten was never late in rising and the clock read quarter past one. I frowned as I wondered where Gohan was, too. I walked along the passageway until I reached Gohan's door. I lifted my hand to knock, but the door swung open.

"Oh! Dad! Don't do that!" Gohan chided. "You gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry, Gohan. I was just wondering where you kids were. It's past noon and I haven't heard a peep out of any of you."

"I've been up since eight this morning. You were just comatose on the couch, that's all."

I blushed at the thought of having been caught by my eldest son.

"Yeah. I guess I can't even hold two beers and a cocktail, can I?"

"Nothing to be ashamed of. I was actually surprised that you had gone out, you know?"

"Yeah. I mean, your mother wouldn't have wanted me to keep running from it. Besides; I've died quite a few times and she kept going so I think she'd be pretty mad at me if I didn't do the same." Gohan's face lit up with a smile and I felt happy that I was doing the right thing. "By the way, shouldn't Goten be up by now?" I craned my head to peer into his room.

"Umm…dad…about that…" I was surprised when he pushed me back.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Ah…Goten's not home."

"He isn't? Where is he?"

"At Capsule Corp."

"Oh. So he's with Trunks?"

"Most likely."

"Okay." But something occurred to me and I voiced it. "But then…if Goten has slept over at Capsule Corp, then who is in your bed?"

Gohan's face flushed and he glanced over to the occupant before turning back to me.

"Well, that's the thing, dad." He paused. "Promise you won't freak or say anything while we're in this room, okay?" I frowned but agreed anyways. Who was it? It couldn't have been Videl. She hadn't been back in months and I didn't think she was ever coming back.

Gohan stepped back and allowed me to enter his room. I gingerly stepped in and gasped in surprise.

"Vegeta?"

"Dad! Shush! He's sleeping!"

My mouth flapped open and closed numerous times, but nothing came out. I didn't know what to make of the situation. I didn't even know what to make of the sight! At first, I couldn't conceive who the person on Gohan's bed was, but that trademark flame hairstyle with auburn highlights to match made it all too obvious. No one could ever copy Vegeta's hairstyle so it had to be him. But it just didn't _look_ like him. He was thin and quite gaunt; a terrifying sight especially since I knew he was a Saiya-jin. Not only that, but he was pale, sweating profusely and his cheeks were tinted with the most unhealthy colour of red I had ever seen. I watched as the smaller figure shivered slightly under the linen sheets before going back to lying limply on the bed. His breathed sounded ragged, as though he had a really bad cold. I turned back to my eldest son.

"What…Gohan? What's going on? What happened?"

"Can I explain later? Vegeta's not in such a good shape as it is and I just need to bring down his fever."

"He has a fever?"

"It's a long story…please, just let me get his fever down before I tell you the whole story."

I opened my mouth but decided to just nod. Vegeta was in bad shape and the story could wait. Quietly, I left the room, my head spinning a little more than when I woke up. I returned to the kitchen to sit down at the table. I would have gotten something to munch on, but the sight of Vegeta just had my mind reeling.

I hadn't seen him since the day I told him about Chichi's condition. I remember the look on his face when I told him and I remember getting very upset when I realized what that look meant; which was only after Chichi died. Vegeta understood exactly what was happening and he didn't tell me. I was furious and upset! I told him everything, why didn't he tell me? But it was only after a long while of avoiding everyone that I understood that maybe he didn't want to tell me because he knew it would hurt. Of all my friends, Vegeta was the most intelligent. Not to say that Bulma wasn't, or any of my other friends for that matter, but Vegeta seemed to have some sort of knack or instinct for certain things that others found it impossible to think of. I suppose it had to do with his upbringing under Frieza. In that light, I came to understand that maybe Vegeta didn't tell me because he didn't know _what_ to say. Whenever something was obvious to him while it wasn't to us, he never said a word until something went horribly wrong and he grew fed up with our obliviousness towards the situation. Then he'd be blunt. And cruel But what could he possibly say in knowing that my wife had a terrible disease and wasn't going to survive? I wouldn't have believed him and would have probably denied that it was happening at all.

Now, more than a year later, he was in my house, lying in my son's bed with a fever looking so frail and meek that it made me wonder what happened to that arrogant and proud Saiya-jin who mocked and sneered at me whenever he had the chance. My mind was spinning so fast I was beginning to wonder whether those drinks were still in me or not. I felt like that character who followed the white rabbit down the rabbit hole, as everything in my vision seemed twisted and so surreal. I shook my head. It must have been the sight of Vegeta. I knew a lot of things would change in life; Krillin and his family never surprised me and neither had any of my other friends. But Vegeta was the one I had expected to remain constant. I don't know why. And now it felt like everything had been bent out of shape.

'Calm yourself, Goku!' I mentally chided. 'Vegeta's in real bad shape right now! Think about what happened to him. Think about what could have possibly made him this way.' My inner voice was right. Vegeta had been through a lot in his short life, and something must have happened to add to the load and made it snap. Because I knew that no matter how good a friend I was or how much support his family gave him, he'd still have ghosts from his past haunting him.

I'm not certain how long I head been seated at the table; my head cradled in his hands and my eyes boring into the dark wood of the table. But I was broken from my thoughts by my son coming into the kitchen with an ice-cube tray. He saw me and gave a wavering grin.

"I took it out the freezer." He said awkwardly. I just nodded.

"Umm…Gohan? Why don't you tell me what happened? I'm really lost on why Vegeta's here after so long looking so…so…"

He nodded. He knew I couldn't finish and he wasn't going to do it for me.

"Okay." He seated himself at the opposite end. His eyes darted about for a moment before settling on the table. "Well, the truth is I don't know how to say any of this."

"Why don't you start at the beginning?"

"It's not that easy, dad. It's at whose beginning I'm wondering where to start."

"Whose?"

"Mine or Vegeta's."

"Oh. Well, let's start at yours. I mean, I don't think you know all too much about Vegeta's to be comfortable to talk about, are you?"

"No. You're right, dad." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay, well, it all started when I decided to go and visit Bulma. You know, in the same way you went to Krillin last night. I sat around for a while and I talked to Mr and Mrs Briefs. When they left Bulma asked something…strange from me." He waved me off. "I'll get to that later. Or maybe I won't. It depends. Anyways.

"Bulma asked me to check on Vegeta and, well, you know how much of a recluse he is, right? So I thought I would. The next day I went down to the GR and when I saw him he was…well…a lot better looking than he is now, but still too thin from what I remembered him _ever_ being. He was still the same, though." Gohan gave a small chuckle. "I remember that. Bulma and everyone else had mistaken me for you, but Vegeta seemed to know right off the bat just exactly who he was talking to. Anyways, we sparred for a bit but I ended up making him upset. In short; he was still sharp as ever and he figured that the only reason I was there was because Bulma asked me to be. You can imagine how terrible that made me feel.

"So I started visiting him whenever I could. I guess it was because I wanted to do what Bulma had asked of me, but I guess it was mostly to prove him wrong. That I did really want to spend time with him because I _wanted_ to. Not because I was asked."

"What did Bulma want you to do?"

His cheeks flushed.

"Well…she wanted me to find out from him if he was having an affair."

My eyes goggled in disbelief.

"Vegeta? An affair?"

"I know, I know. It was stupid of me to even think that it was possible, seeing as he tried to avoid me like the plague every time I came to see him." He stopped abruptly. "But, one day as I was on my way to see him between classes, I saw him leaving Capsule Corp and I decided to follow. I guess it was still that stupid notion to see if there was anything to Bulma's suspicions, but I followed, anyways. I pretty much followed him for most the day until he caught me out at a bookshop. He tipped a whole display on me! There was no way of avoiding him on that one! But, even though I was caught out and he was mad as hell, I…I don't know what happened. I said something, what I can't remember, but he just seemed to calm down and we started to talk. I mean, like one person to another. It was weird but…nice at the same time. Then we started talking about books we had read and, well, things just kinda picked up from there."

Suddenly, his eyes misted over and it seemed he was dreamily reflecting on the past. The action made me frown a little. Chichi only acquired that look when she was talking about a wealthy lifestyle or Gohan's brilliant career in the future.

"It was amazing. I never thought that Vegeta and I could have so much in common, but over the past few months it's been…incredible. I used to visit Capsule Corp a lot during my break between classes, but Vegeta threw a fit over that and we ended up just calling each other during the week. I still went to him on the weekends, though. His room was so unbelievable, too! There were books just _everywhere_! Even in his bathroom! He was so addicted to books it was just…crazy! But I had read a lot, too, and I even borrowed a few books from him and we chatted endlessly on every possible book we had ever read! He even chatted to me about some things in my syllabus that he knew about.

"It was just…amazing…"

I stared at Gohan's face; marveling in the slight rosy colour his cheeks had turned.

"So, you and Vegeta became pretty close?"

He suddenly snapped out of his daze and looked quite guilty.

"Yes. I guess it's because I've grown up and the distance now between us isn't so great. Vegeta had also changed a bit. Okay, a lot. But I don't think it's in the good way."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, that's what I was getting to. You see, a few weeks ago," his cheeks coloured slightly and his voiced faltered a bit, but he carried on. "Something strange was going on with him. I don't know what, but I could just hear it in his voice when he spoke to me. It was like some sort of tremble that indicated that he was on the verge of a breakdown, but at the time I didn't know what. He hardly spoke to me, and after a while he barely spoke at all! It was like he was retreating into himself.

"But, just last night, it all exploded. He and Bulma had a huge fight in front of Trunks and I and…well," he grimaced. "It didn't end so pleasantly."

"What happened?" Now my curiosity was piqued. "Maybe I could help?"

Gohan sighed and suddenly an angry frown twisted his thick brows.

"I highly doubt it, dad."

"Why not?"

"It's a really personal matter. I don't know if I should even tell you, seeing as it's something Vegeta should. But…" he glanced back to the hallway that led to his room. "I'm not sure if he's ever going to be up to telling you. Or anyone else for that matter. Heck! I just know it because I was there!"

I nodded solemnly. Obviously this was an emotional matter. I knew Vegeta almost as well as I knew the back of my hand and it was a fact that he could take on any physical challenge thrown at him but avoided all things emotional. He always used to hate it when I tried to show my appreciation of him for being a great friend because it always involved emotions.

"Okay, but I still want to know. I understand that this part is his to tell, but what I know of him is that he won't tell it. I know Vegeta, Gohan, and he _never_ lets anyone know when something's wrong. Majin was a testament to that and I still don't know what the _real_ reason behind that was."

He nodded slowly before sighing again.

"Okay, dad. But it's bad. Really bad."

"Okay. So, what is it?"

He paused, looking really uncertain before finally dropping the bomb on me.

"Bulma was having an affair."

Silence. Dead silence.

"Bulma? No! It couldn't be!" I was in disbelief! Bulma? My best friend Bulma? Having an affair?

"It is! And it wasn't just one. From Vegeta's outburst last night, it wasn't just one, but numerous flings with various men."

My mind was spinning again. Was this how that girl felt when she engaged in talking to all those strange creatures down in the rabbit hole?

"No…it's not possible…"

"It is!" he insisted again, now seeming rather upset with my denial. "And she's pregnant, too. Vegeta is certain that it isn't his child because ever since he caught her, he hasn't laid a finger on her."

"B-but…but how…when did he find out?"

"More than two years, now." He said.

"B-b-but…b-but…Bulma would never…s-she…she'd never do something so…"

"Then why the hell would Vegeta be driven to the point of starvation, isolation and eventual breakdown, dad?"

Did Gohan snarl at me? Looking up and seeing bared canines, I realized he did, and with good reason. I knew for a fact Vegeta hated all things emotional and avoided them like the plague. But a situation like this was unavoidable and the best he could do was try to run and keep it at bay. Yes; Vegeta would starve and isolate himself just to keep away.

"B-but why then would she ask you to check up to see if he was cheating on her?"

"I guess it's because she might have been paranoid that he knew and was getting back at her."

"Oh." That was actually understandable. But it didn't make anything less strange. "How…h-how did it happen?"

"I had dragged Vegeta down to eat something. He was looking pretty much like he is now. From what I had gathered, he had just been living on soup for some time and for the past few days he hadn't even come out of his room to drink some of it. Trunks was there in the kitchen and gave Vegeta some of his breakfast. "I gave a small smile at that thought. "But then Bulma came down and confronted him. She declared that he was cheating on her and, well, I guess because she was calling him a cheater in front of his own son, he just snapped and let it out. Trunks was furious with his mom. That's why Goten's still there."

I nodded, but now I was numb. My head was twirling and I felt like I was in another world. I had traveled much further down the rabbit hole.

"Oh. I see."

"Dad?" I looked up to my son eldest sons pleading face peering at me. "I know this is a lot to handle. I know, dad, I really do. But, as a favour, could you not let Bulma into this house? Please?"

Bulma had every right to come in. Vegeta was her husband and the father of her child. But after what she had done…I still couldn't believe it, but I believed Vegeta more. I had seen him looking ill and emaciated and it wasn't fake. He had always prided himself in being powerful and strong, be it in strength, brains or even beauty. And to fall like this…no. If I didn't believe Vegeta when I knew him that well, I was just as bad as Bulma. Just the mere thought of her…_her_ of all people doing that to someone like Vegeta…

"Of course! No, of course I won't let her in! I still want to find out from her why she did this but I won't let her near Vegeta."

"So. You believe me?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because if someone had told me all this, I wouldn't have. It just doesn't sound…right."

"But you were there when it happened?"  
"Right. And that's why I believe it."

I nodded.

"Okay. I'll help you take of him. He looks like he caught a cold or something similar."

"Yeah. It's probably a terrible combination of his starvation, breakdown and the sudden shift in climate. He's cooling down, but I just want to stay by him to make sure that he doesn't break into a fever again." He flushed. "Of all the things I had prepared for, I studied the medical side of doctoring; not the mental side."

I cracked a grin.

"If that was the case, I think Vegeta would have avoided you completely." He gave a lopsided smile of his own, but it was wavering. He was worried about Vegeta and it showed.

As he walked out, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something else going on. For the oddest of reasons, instead of wondering what drove Bulma to do such a heinous thing in the first place, my thoughts wandered to the relationship between Gohan and Vegeta. I didn't doubt that they were now close. Gohan had expressed that he and Vegeta got on very well and he admitted that it probably had something to do with him being an adult now. But there was just something that was off. I didn't know what, but my gut instincts were pulling that something was amiss, but I didn't know what. This was no time to do any interrogating, either. The world may have just been turned upside down, but for Vegeta they'd been turned upside down, inside out and spun about until everything was blurry and completely out of focus. He was no doubt in terrible shape and if I knew him as well as I thought I did, he'd probably try to avoid talking about this.

I understood that. Gohan and I would get him to talk, eventually. Goten would probably have his hands full of Trunks, but there was no doubt that once those two had sorted through that emotional mess they'd try and pry him open, too. But it was whether he'd move on from it or not that bothered me. I had no idea what Vegeta went through while he served under Frieza, but it couldn't have been good. I remember the only time he ever opened up was on Namek was he was dying. I'm betting he thought he was going to die and remain dead, so what was the harm in finally letting it out? He was really awkward after we brought him back from the dead; angry, in fact. I didn't blame him, though. But this was much worse.

Vegeta had never placed any trust in anyone for fear that they would use it against him. He was an extreme type of person. Either you had his loyalty or you didn't, regardless of whether he told you that you were a third-class clown or something friendlier (I later came to realize that the only way you have his loyalty is when he can freely call you names. If he called you something nice; worry). He was very afraid of being hurt but he tried not to show it. Thinking about it over the years made me come to conclusion that Vegeta had always lived in fear, but he could never show it. That would be like waving fresh meat in front of a pack of wolves! Because of that, if something frightened or hurt him inside he would never show it. Maybe habit, maybe instinct; I don't know. All I know is that Vegeta had shied away and tried desperately to avoid such situations from occurring. And now that it had, I was worried.

Broken trust was something not even I knew how to fix and for someone like Vegeta who was terrified of it to finally experience it made me worry whether or not he'd be able to bounce back. It really did.

* * * *

Fixing lunch for myself was awkward. I never realized just how reliant I became on my youngest son until he was missing. Just the thought of how I would look after myself in the kitchen made me shiver in horror. I ended up snacking on a couple of sandwiches. It was only when I saw that we had run out of bread that I realized that Vegeta would need to eat. Chichi had made me watch programs on children with anorexia and bulimia before Gohan was ten just so I knew the symptoms and signs should he go through any of that. I always told her it wouldn't, but the thought of either of my children going through that made my gut twist nauseously. Knowing that it was Vegeta in this case didn't make the feeling any better. Truth be told; it made it worse. We were going to need a lot of food. A whole lot of food.

I rapped lightly on the door to Gohan's room, hoping that it wouldn't disturb either of them but just to let them know that I was coming in. I cracked the door open a bit and popped my head around the corner. Gohan was at his desk, thick volumes open and writing something; more than likely homework. Vegeta was still in bed.

"Hey, dad."

"Hey. Listen, I was wondering what we are going to give him to eat." I stepped fully into the door and nodded my head towards the figure on the bed. "I mean, I wouldn't know what to get him. I know he's starved himself, but whether his system can handle solids or not…"

"My Gosh! You're right, dad! I can't believe I totally forgot about that! Oh my god!" he mumbled furiously to himself as he whipped out another book from his shelf and rapidly flipped the pages. "I don't know how I could have forgotten something so obvious and necessary!"

"Hey! It's okay. I mean, surely you have something in your books, right?"

He sighed as he put it down.

"I do have something, but I'm not certain about it. I told you, dad; of all the medical things I've studied it's the physical side, not the mental. I know that physically that Vegeta needs nutrition, but I don't know how his mentality will affect his intake." I blinked owlishly, barely following. "Listen, dad, I'm going to go to college. There's a counselor there who can probably help. I'm not going to bring him here, or anything, just ask for some advice. I mean, I don't want to try feeding Vegeta a whole chicken if he's just going to push it aside."

I knew that us, as Saiya-jin, were very different from humans and a whole chicken was but a mere pea compared to human meals. But I understood that his breakdown could seriously affect his eating habits. When Chichi died I didn't eat for a whole three weeks before I finally caved and gave into my stomach.

"Okay. I'll look after him while you're gone."

"Thanks, dad." He said, flashing a relieved look at me. With that, he jumped out his window and was on his way, speeding as fast as he could. Again, that niggling feeling that something was amiss poked me in the back of my brain, but I ignored it. There was a time and a place for everything and when then time came for that niggle to be dealt with it would be done then.

I took the chair that Gohan had been sitting on and moved it so that I was right next to the bed. Sitting and looking down at Vegeta, I came to realize just how badly it had affected him. I could practically see the two years decline etched into his face and I was suddenly very ashamed that I never knew or even realized it. The shame became more overwhelming as I realized that this had started long before Chichi's sudden decline. I had missed it when everything was still fine within my life. What kind of a friend was I? No wonder Vegeta didn't know what to say when I told him of the brain cancer. His high cheek bones were protruding much more prominently than I was comfortable with seeing. His hair was also thinning, his lips were cracked and chapped and his skin had lightened considerably from that lovely tanned toffee to this…this…milky-tea colour. The only thing that remained that I remember about him was his thick, long lashes fanning out against his high bones. I remember at one point I had thought it made him look very pretty, but I quickly pushed that thought aside before I said it aloud. I had a strange tendency to do that and if I ever blurted it out to him he would have given me a beating I would never forget! I always had the strange imagery in my mind of Vegeta being so mad that he beat me senseless without going to Super Saiya-jin while I was in Super Saiya-jin three. It seemed unlikely, but I never deemed it impossible. The thought made me both shudder and chuckle but I would never want to find out if it was actually possible.

Suddenly, those lovely eyelashes quivered. I sat up ramrod straight from my slumped position and waited anxiously for any other movement. They quivered again before lifting slightly. I didn't understand why I was holding my breath, but I knew it had something to do with the fact that I wasn't prepared on what do to in such a situation. My sudden revelation towards my inadequacy made me nervous, but I stayed. I would do all I could for him.

His eyes fluttered and blinked slowly for a few times before he opened his eyes lazily. He stared blankly at the ceiling for a few moments while I sat stiffly by the side of his bed. I watched as he stared, unblinkingly, emotionlessly at the paper light hanging from the ceiling. Maybe he was focusing on something so he could recall what had happened. Waking up in a foreign place was never the best of places to wake up to. My palms had started to sweat with nervousness and my knee jumped lightly up and down. I wished he would say something. Maybe I should say something?

"I know you're watching me, Kakarotto."

I jumped, even though his voice came out in a scratchy whisper. I blinked and saw that he hadn't moved a muscle. He hadn't turned to look at me. He just remained looking up at the ceiling. I swallowed nervously and inwardly chuckled at the thought at how it was always Vegeta who managed to procure such feelings from me.

"Ah…erm…yeah…"I winced at my useless stuttering. I made myself feel loads worse and no doubt him as well. "Umm…would you like something…something to drink?"

"No."

"I meant water."

"No."

"Isn't your throat sore? It sounds like it?"

"No."

But this time I could hear his voice shudder. A sick part of me wanted to keep going; to make him break down and let it all out. But I wouldn't. Not to Vegeta.

"O-okay. But if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask, okay?" This time I didn't receive any answer. But it was okay. It was really awkward and it made me just want to get up and run! But I wouldn't. I just didn't know what to do. I was sure that if I did I wouldn't have mind just sitting by him. But I had never been in such a situation before. I knew of emotional pain. I mean, I've dealt with the many deaths of my friends and even my wife. But what was the feeling of loss of a loved one compared to betrayal? At least when my friends died I knew they didn't harbor any bad feelings towards me and when Chi died I came around and knew that she was now in a better and safer place. I, myself, had been there and knew that she'd be just fine. But how do you handle the feeling of someone who has just been stabbed in the back by someone they thought loved them? And they loved them, too? I had never been betrayed. Okay, so maybe Vegeta himself had betrayed me a couple of times but it wasn't anything like this. It was nothing like this. Vegeta's way of betrayal was more of sticking his middle finger at me and telling me he'll do it himself…in his own way of saying it.

I watched him as he watched the paper light. His eyes were doing an odd sort of flickering. It was then that I realized that not all his hair stood straight up anymore. A small bit at the front seemed to have lost some life and was now laying limping over his forehead like a fringe. I shook my head. I had to stop staring at him! He wasn't a freak show and he wasn't a spectacle to goggle at! I turned my attention to the side table and found a book sitting there. Gohan and mention that he had become a book addict. Maybe this was a small token of peace from his side? I looked at the cover. _Alice in Wonderland_. Wasn't that a movie I had watched with my family long before Chichi got sick? It had to have been; it also happened to be a story I had been relating to that afternoon. I opened the book and flipped through it, looking at the very few pictures that were placed sparsely between pages of writing. Following the rabbit. The Caterpillar. The Cheshire Cat. Yup; this was definitely it. Looking at the images brought back that sudden spinning feeling. But where was I supposed to be now?

A sudden jerk on the bed brought me back to my senses and my eyes widened in horror. Vegeta had started shaking and it was getting more violent by the second! His pupils had dilated and his body was moving in such a fashion it looked like he was fighting from getting sick. The heaving jerk of his shoulders told me that he actually was going to get sick and I grabbed him and quickly ITed him to the bathroom. And none too soon. As soon as his head was over the toilet, he vomited everything that was within him. Holding onto his arms, I felt my hands slip against his skin. I was nervous as hell! What could have made him sick? Was it the fever? But he seemed so calm. I then remembered the strange fluttering of his eyes. He was remembering! Shit! No doubt what had triggered the urge to vomit was remembering what happened between him and Bulma. What must have made it worse that it was done right in front of his own son!

I would have started to blame myself for not being so careful, but when another jerk of his body and heaving on his part I quickly assigned myself to the task of trying to make sure that he was okay. At least, as okay as he could possibly be. He vomited some more; all the food from his last meal before it became bile with the odd remnants of the breakfast he shared with his son. It was like his body just wanted it all out, and not the breakfast. The pain, the feelings he just couldn't process; everything that hurt! He even dry heaved for a bit after his stomach had to have been literally empty. Tears were streaming down his eyes and just when he had finished vomiting did I realize that he had been crying the whole time. My stomach turned to lead and my veins to ice; I felt so helpless. But I pulled him to me, closed the lid of the toilet and flushed it. I wanted to get up and get a glass of water for him to wash his mouth out with, but when he suddenly grabbed the front of my gi and clawed at it in a desperate manner I became lost. He literally was trying to fit into my lap and crawl into me. Following my instinct, I wrapped him up in my arms and pulled him as close as I could without hurting him. Even after vomiting with what had to have been a sore throat, he still wailed loudly as he cried.

I wasn't sure what the hell was happening. I wasn't falling down the rabbit hole, anymore. No. I was on a carousel. My head started spinning again and my body started prickling; like little iced needles lightly jabbing me in my skin not to hurt, but to make me feel uncomfortable. The white of the bathroom was too bright, as was my orange and blue gi. The toilet and the sink shone brilliantly and the tiles suddenly took on the lighting that light off a disco ball would do. But while my mind was gone, I still felt everything. I knew everything. It was a strange sense of clarity in the middle of chaos.

I could feel just how skeletal Vegeta had become as his tiny body wracked violently with sobs. Rubbing my hand down his back I could feel each and every nub of his spine and it made me feel nauseous. His slender fingers were clawing at my shirt and his head was trying to burying into my chest. He was still wearing his gloves, I noted, and I swear I could hear a faint tearing. His body was writhing now, and it was starting to grow hot. Sickly so. He was getting sick again! I had to get a grip, or else Vegeta would end up making himself so sick that he'll have to go to hospital! I took in a few deep breaths, trying to get off that awful carousel. I whispered soft words in his ears and rocked him lightly back and forth, like I did Gohan and Goten when they were babies. Vegeta might as well have been one of my boys'; he was as small as Goten now and he fit like a child would into my arms. I knew it was because he was so skinny. I rocked him and whispered and rubbed his back soothingly and they all seemed to work. His desperate clawing calmed down to his gloved fingers flexing in my shirt. His body now shivered rather than shook violently and his screaming had become sniffles. He was still crying, but that was okay. He was allowed to cry.

After a few more minutes, I gently lifted him up and moved him to the sink. I gave him a plastic cup filled with water for him to rinse his mouth out with. He seemed to understand, but did it numbly and robotically. He spat out the water, allowing some of it to dribble down his front. I felt uncomfortable seeing Vegeta looking so weak. I knew he wasn't, but now he was allowed to be. It was okay. I wiped his mouth before lifting him into my arms and cradling him as I walked back to the bedroom. He was slippery with sweat but he was shivering with the cold. I decided to move him to my bedroom. Gohan's didn't have a private bathroom and I felt that privacy was the one thing Vegeta needed right now. I opened one side and slipped him carefully under the few sheets. After settling him in, I went to the cupboard and got out a fleece blanket. Just for when he felt chilly. I felt his forehead and was relieved to find that he didn't have a fever. But he had passed out and that worried me greatly. Vegeta wasn't a weak person, I knew that. But this seems to have struck at his very core. It was like the great wall that was the mighty Prince Vegeta had crumbled and now I was looking in on something very private. I felt terrible and worthless. Once again, I was at Chichi's bedside and there was nothing I could do. I felt so helpless. But here, at least I knew I could do something. If Vegeta would let me, I'd help him. I really would.

But I also knew that his mind was a muddled jumble that was hardly making any sense. Hearing that Bulma was having numerous affairs and pregnant with someone else's child turned my world upside down, but Vegeta's was upside down, inside out and spun about until everything was in this awful mess.

It must have been the daiquiri; it couldn't have been anything else to explain for the sudden twist in my thoughts. It was a tea party; the Mad Hatter was having a tea party on a carousel and everything was spinning and so out of control! Not only was Alice being jerked about by the Hatter and the Jackrabbit, but her view was obscured because of the bright lights and the spinning of the world around her. The Cheshire Cat was there, too, asking what she thought she should do. It was all so confusing. I had thought that I was like Alice at the very moment; the lights were too bright and everything was so unfocused. But as I thought about it more, I realized I was just looking in on the hazy mess on that carousel.

The real Alice was Vegeta.

* * * *


	7. A Little Light

**Chapter Six**

**A Little Light**

**Gohan POV**

Dr Harper had been very helpful and didn't pry about what was really going on. I mean, I know that there is a confidential policy that all doctors and psychiatrists follow, but I still didn't want to tell him that Vegeta went through a very nasty breakup with his wife. That would involve telling him all the little details; like how he had known for two years and avoided her since, how she had claimed that he was cheating on her whilst she was the one having meaningless flings and was currently pregnant because of one of those flings and how he had been practically starving himself, which was really bad seeing as he is a Saiya-jin. But Dr Harper allowed me to explain the bare essentials without questioning. I told him a friend of mine was in trouble and was currently going through a rather emotional time. He had been starving himself and I wasn't sure what to do. Dr Harper had been helpful in telling me that for someone going through a bad emotional crisis (and I assured him it was _bad_) starvation was one of many likely things to happen. Suicide could have also been one and I shuddered to think of Vegeta laying in a bath and slitting his wrists. He spoke to me a bit about what I should do and wrote down a list of foods that I could start to feed him while he was in this state. It was really every day foods that could be eaten quickly. He assured me that I would rather start with something like soups and mashed potatoes, as they go down quickly and someone in Vegeta's state would rather sit and chew on one bite than swallow it down and continue eating. I gratefully accepted his help and flew off to the nearest supermarket. This was going to be one long week and I was yet to talk to dad about this!

* * * *

When I returned home, I put all the groceries in the kitchen and some of the others outside in our storage. I went to my room and was surprised that Vegeta wasn't there anymore. Panic gripped me for a second. What if Bulma came back and dad caved him and gave him back to her? What if he ran away himself?

"Gohan."

"Dad! Don't do that!" I cried. I hated when someone snuck up on me.

"Sorry. But what's wrong? I noticed you looking quite frantically about."

"Umm…where's Vegeta?"

"Oh! I put him in my room. I've decided that he should stay there for the while until he gets better."

I blinked, feeling slightly off.

"O-okay. Why?"

"Well, I'm hardly ever home. Vegeta could use that big bed, too. That, and a private bathroom."

I nodded. But when I took a good look at my dad, I could see he looked troubled.

"What's wrong?"

In his typical manner, he sheepishly started rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well…Vegeta woke up while you were gone."

"He did!"

"Yeah. He lay for a few minutes before he started spasming and convulsing. I rushed him to the bathroom and he pretty much puked out everything that he had in him! I felt really bad for him."

"What…what else?"

Dad winced and looked ashamed.

"He…broke down." He scrubbed his hands with his face in an aggravated manner. "Gods, Gohan! I didn't know what to do! I've never seen Vegeta like that in all my life! I felt so terrible! I mean, what kind of a friend am I if I didn't pay any attention to the way he was before!"

Dad's outburst surprised me. I only hoped Vegeta wouldn't wake up any time soon.

"What do you mean, dad?"

"When I was holding Vegeta," he sighed, slouching against the wall. "I felt just how bony he is. It's a huge difference to how I remembered him feeling when we used to spar years ago. It made me feel so sick. He was also crying and shaking so hard I was terrified that he might literally fall apart! I felt so awful. I had hated him for not telling me what was wrong with your mother…"

"Wait a second. Vegeta knew that mom had brain cancer before us?"

"Not exactly. I told him that I wouldn't be able to spar the next day and when he demanded to know why, I told him what you mom had told me. And you know how quick Vegeta is. He put everything together quickly and probably came to the conclusion that it was cancer. The look on his face told me as much. I didn't think about it until after your mom died."

I nodded in understanding.

"So, you hated him?"

"I did. I mean, I kept wondering why he just didn't tell me there and then. You know; shout it out and tell me what a third-class moron I was. But now that…that…this has happened…" he trailed off. "I feel so awful! I hated him for not telling me and meanwhile he was going through something a lot worse! And for a lot longer!"

Dad stayed against the wall for a while. I really didn't know what to say to him. He and Vegeta had always been close and before, when I was a child, I was always very wary of the relationship they had. It was turbulent, thanks to dad's relative obliviousness and Vegeta's manner of throwing a tantrum if someone didn't understand something he deemed as 'simple'. But that feeling had long passed. Now, it was replaced by something else. Something equally as skittish, but a lot worse. Jealousy. I had no real reason to be jealous, but I guess some part of me just wanted to keep Vegeta all to myself. I shook off the feeling as quickly as it came, though. Vegeta needed help; not a jealous young man worrying over his father's actions and thoughts.

"Well, Vegeta needs us right now, dad. And what's done is done. You couldn't have known any better. I think Vegeta probably feels the same about us."

"What do you mean?"

"After mom died. He knew, but he didn't come. He probably felt really bad because of everything that was happening and he couldn't just come down to show that he supported us."

"Yeah, but he was going through a crisis of his own."

"It doesn't mean he didn't feel any less bad about it."

He shrugged.

"I suppose you're right."

"Yeah. Well," I rummaged about my pockets and pulled out the list. "I spoke to Dr Harper at college and he gave me a few tips."

"Will they work?"

"I don't know, dad. For one, it's Vegeta. He's not like anyone else we know and I've got a feeling he doesn't fit into any category made for humans. The most we can do for certain is feed him."

"Okay. I guess we can do that."

"It's simple things, really. Soups, mashed food, small snacks; anything that's quick to swallow."

"How come?"

"He's not exactly in his normal state, dad. Currently, he's more liable to take a bite and chew for hours on end as he gets lost in his thought."

Dad frowned a little and I could tell this was hard for him to understand. We've never had any emotional problems within our family so this was very new. I also got the feeling that he was doing his best to grasp the concept that this fight couldn't be won with a few punches, kicks and a Kamehameha.

"Okay. So, what's going to happen? What about your schooling?"

"I'm still going to go! And do my homework, of course. But I'm also going to try and take care of him. I owe him that much." I lifted my hands and starting rubbing the back of my neck. "Besides, I guess I feel as guilty as you, dad."

"You do?"

"I didn't exactly believe Bulma when she said Vegeta was cheating on her, but I didn't dismiss the thought completely. Even after I got to know him as a person, there was still something in the back of my mind that made me think he was doing something wrong. And now that it turned out like this…I feel awful."

"It's okay, son. I know this is going to be really difficult for us, but we've got to try and help him. It…it…"he swallowed hard. "It just _hurt_ to see him like this. So fragile and broken. Words I'd never associate Vegeta with ever."

"I know, dad."

We were silent for a while before he quickly perked up. Obviously he was trying to get past the issue that he had just seen one of the strongest men he knew in a broken state.

"So. How about we get him something to eat? He brought up everything he had before and I bet when he wakes up his stomach is going to hurt something awful."

I nodded and smiled. We both went into the kitchen to fix Vegeta his small meal. Things were looking okay, but I knew this was only the beginning. The real work would come later.

* * * *

When the soup was ready, dad decided to leave me to feed Vegeta. Part of me was a little angry that he readily gave up the position as 'hero', but I understood. I was still pretty shaken from the way Vegeta shattered, and right in front of me. Dad had known Vegeta for a really long time. It must be so weird to see the person you thought as strong in all senses of the word break and suddenly appear so weak and defenceless. I understood why dad didn't want to see Vegeta as he currently was. That made the jealous part of me incredibly happy. I had no idea why I was jealous, but maybe it was because I wanted Vegeta all to myself. You know; I found him this way and I'll be the one to help him get better. That sort of thing.

I walked into dad's bedroom and closed the door behind me. I considered locking it, but decided against it. Vegeta was still asleep under the few sheets with a fleece blanket covering his feet. Dad must have put it there in case he felt chilly. I set the soup down before grabbing the chair from mom's vanity table and moved it next to his side. I thought I could wake him, but decided not to. He needed all the rest he could get. Instead, I grabbed the book on the side table; _Alice in Wonderland_. I had placed this next to my bed in case he woke up. Dad must have put here just in case. I thought maybe I should read for a bit. Just until Vegeta woke up.

* * * *

I wasn't certain how long has passed. It could have been a good couple of hours, but I couldn't tell. I had been reading the book, but not really _reading_ it, when a low moan snapped me out of my little daze. My head perked up and I sat up straight, my eyes watching Vegeta very carefully. His chapped lips part as he gave another moan and his eyes fluttered open. His cheeks were turning a light pink and I started to worry that he had another fever.

"Go-Go…han?" he croaked.

"I'm here, Vegeta."

He swallowed hard, his little adam's apple giving a jump before settling in his throat again.  
"Where…am I? It's not your room."

"No. This is dad's room. He brought you here so you'd be more comfortable." I didn't want to bring up the fact that he had vomited and broken down in front of dad, and it looked like I didn't have to. He didn't look like he remembered what had happened when he first woke up and I was pretty grateful. He already had an impossible load on his shoulder; knowing that his most hated rival saw him at his weakest state would definitely add to that heavy weight and he didn't need extra baggage. He just nodded before blinking.

"Your father knows…I'm here?"

"Yeah. I…" I paused. "I told him what happened. I know you don't want anyone else to know but…"

"Kakarotto lives here, so he has the right to know." I blinked at the monotonous tone he said that in. It sounded more like he was trying to convince himself rather than console me.

"Well, we're all worried. Well, dad and I, at least. You must be hungry. You ate quite a long time ago and…"

"I'm not hungry."

"You may not feel hungry, but your body needs nutrition."

"I don't want to eat anything."

"You have to!"

"I don't."

"Vegeta!"

"I DON'T!" he yelled, his rough voice cracking as it was raised beyond what it could do at the moment. I knew Vegeta didn't want this, as it was more like charity and pity for a poor prince. But that wasn't it. I wanted to prove to him that I wasn't doing this because I felt sorry for him. I wasn't backing down.

"Your body needs sustenance, Vegeta! You're as thin as a rake; no! Rakes are fatter than you are! You're skeletal and you've got a terrible cold! You need food to help you cope!"

"I don't need anything!"

"Yes, you do!"

His sharp obsidian eyes suddenly turned on me and glared at me with as much hatred as they could muster. But I couldn't back down. It hurt me inside just to see him like this; fighting off help that he needed so badly.

"I don't." he hissed.

I don't know what came over me, but something in me snapped. I was angry and upset and I really wanted to hurt something badly right there and then. But not Vegeta. I wanted to smack Bulma upside the head. Maybe even rip it clean off her shoulders. My vision became blurry and all I could think of was how unfair it all was upon Vegeta. How dare life deal him such a shitty hand when all throughout he had been trying and trying to make something good out of it! Orphaned and now betrayed? It wasn't fair! It just wasn't fair!

Without thinking, I moved down and yanked him up and into my arms. He gave a strangled squeak and even as I hugged him tightly to my body, he squirmed and struggled; hissing and spitting and saying things in a foreign language that I knew that to be Saiya-go. Even then, weak as he was in body, he still proved that he was in no way weak as a person.

"Look at yourself, Vegeta." I growled in his ear. He stopped squirming slightly. I momentarily wondered if what I said had caught his attention, but decided to take the opening before it was gone.

"Look at yourself! Look at how you fit in my arms! You've become so thin and skeletal that it's scary! It's not you! You can't even fight me off and you've trounced me hundreds of times to keep reminding me that I'm still just a child! Do you remember that? When I came to visit you for the first time in a long time? I thought I had gotten stronger and could finally stand up to you, but I was still no match. It's gone now. Your body has been so badly starved it…it…" I choked, feeling a large lump form in my throat. My eyes started watering and I knew that I was having a small breakdown of my own.

"You're a strong man, Vegeta. Really, you are. There's no question about it. Even as malnourished as you are, you're still fighting. You just never stop…" I sniffed, feeling a fat hot tear trail down my face. "And I don't want to make you feel weak. I don't want you to feel like a charity case. I don't want you to feel bad about yourself in any way because you're an amazing person. You really are.

"But I also don't want to see you like this. I don't want to see you so broken because of a cold hearted bitch who managed to fool me! I don't want to see the man I've come to care about so much about fall to pieces because of someone who didn't deserve him in the first place!"

My body started shuddering and I was desperately trying to hold in my tears. I didn't want to cry in front of him. He was the one that needed support and care; not some young adult blubbing into his ear because he didn't know what to do.

There was a moment of silence and all I could hear was my shivering breath and my heart pounding away in my ears.

"What do you want?"

I choked again and gave him a squeeze.

"I just want to help. I just want you to be you again. I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy." I shuddered again and the fat tears rolled down my cheeks again. "Please…"

Again, silence, and this time my ears were singing with some high pitch noise. I sounded pathetic. I knew I did. I sounded like some whiny ten-year-old who was complaining about how life was just so unfair even though that's how life really is. If Vegeta didn't want my help, if he didn't want to get better, then there was nothing that I could possibly do to make him change his mind. The mere thought of a Vegeta-less life was horrifying, especially seeing as how I had fallen so deeply in love with him. Whether he reciprocated my feelings or not didn't matter anymore. I just needed him there.

My eyes blinked as I felt a sudden weight press into me. Daringly; I gazed at my prince from the corner of my eyes. I could see nothing more than the back of his head, but I could feel that he was leaning against me. His gloved hands were gently clutching the front of my shirt and his nose was buried into my neck.

"Vegeta?"

"Okay."

I tensed. Did he agree?

"Huh?"

"You can help me. I don't mind." He sighed, leaning more into me and his fingers gripping a little tighter. "I don't even care, anymore. I'm just so tired. I don't want to fight anymore." He started to shudder. "I…I don't want to be alone, anymore."

The lump in my throat hadn't removed itself, but at least it wasn't growing anymore. Tears were now falling freely down the sides of my face and onto his jersey. We were both shivering, but he wasn't crying. I suppose he was letting go. I guess I was, too.

I held him closer and nuzzled my nose into his neck. If he didn't like it, he didn't say anything and his body didn't betray anything. I inhaled and sighed. Vegeta had a certain scent to him that had always intrigued me; even as a child. I could never make it out clearly unless I was really close to him and even now, with my nose resting over the fluttering pulse in his neck I still couldn't define the scent. But it was light and sweet, and maybe a bit spicy. I remember, as a child, when I once stood close enough to catch that delightful scent, I thought of pancakes. Fresh, hot pancakes with a light spread of maple syrup and a good sprinkle of cinnamon. No sugar. I recall wanting to bite him because he smelt so delicious and the thought occurred to me again as I held him.

'I don't have to bite him. Maybe just give him a little lick. Yeah, just one little lick across his neck. Just a small taste.' I thought about that for a moment as the tears slowed down. It wasn't proper and I most certainly wasn't going to do it, but just the thought of placing my tongue flat over the top of his collar bone and slowly caressing it up along the curve of his slender neck and all the way up to the back of his jaw where that small little earlobe was just waiting for a pair of teeth to nip and suckle…

'Oh, God,' I groaned. I was, once again, getting carried away with myself. Heat was pooling in my lower belly and I was pressed close enough that if I got an erection, Vegeta would have felt it. And that was the _last_ thing I wanted.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed him back and gave a pitiful smile. I felt so awkward it wasn't funny! Vegeta merely looked up at me. He sincerely looked as though he was tired of it all. That look smothered my sudden lust and I quickly set about what I had wanted to do in the first place.

I laid him back into the bed, sitting him up against the headboard with fluffy pillows cushioning his back and drawing the cotton sheets up over his legs. He remained motionless for the most part, but he hadn't drawn into himself. He was really just watching me as I helped him and, for the oddest of reasons, it made me nervous. I gave him another awkward smile before reaching for the soup. I mentally cursed when I felt that it had chilled quite a bit.

"Um…would you like me to warm it?" I asked. "I brought it in earlier, but you were still asleep…"

"It's okay."

"Ah…okay."

I took the bowl and sat down next to him. Now I was feeling really foolish. I didn't know whether to feed him or just give it to him.

"You can feed me."

"Huh?"

"You can feed me," he said, a little softer. "I…don't think I can hold up the spoon." I blinked and looked down to his hands. They were trembling quite a bit. I realized that he was right; he probably wouldn't be able to hold up the spoon. I guess as well as giving up the fight, he didn't want to look silly by spilling his food. I nodded and scooped up a bit, leaning over and pressing it up against his lips. For a moment, it stayed there. The tomato soup was staining his lips a rusty red as his sharp eyes scrutinized his meal. I held my breath and hoped that he didn't suddenly decide to reject it. But he didn't. He slowly parted his lips and slurped up the soup. He gave a small grimace. I wasn't sure if it was because the soup was cold or if he didn't like tomato soup, but it didn't matter. He swallowed and looked expectantly at the spoon.

I smiled. I didn't particularly like him being so placid and indifferent, but it was helping and I couldn't argue with that. I slowly scooped up spoon by spoon, giving him time in between to tell me when he had had enough. It was only when the bowl was nearly finished that he refused to open his lips to the spoon. I didn't force him. The bowl was pretty big and for him to stomach that much after such an ordeal was fantastic!

Hope swelled in me as I watched his eyes fluttered heavily. I never thought eating could take a lot of out someone, but Vegeta had been trying. It wasn't much, but it was much more than I expected. I pretty much expected him to refuse to eat and withdraw into himself, leaving me stranded. But he had really tried.

I gently helped him recline a little lower. I wanted his food to go down, after all. He kept watching me and though it still unnerved me, the fact that he was actually in touch with reality made me feel better about it all.

"Sleep."

"I don't…need to." He mumbled. I chuckled at that. I suppose what took the most energy out of him was fighting _not_ to fight. In his dozing state he was still arguing with me. I watched as his eyes closed and his breathing became lighter until I was certain he was asleep. He looked so beautiful, even as skeletal as he was. Although, I definitely prefer him with a lot more meat on his bones. He had such lovely long lashes and his lips were really full. Or maybe it was the rusty red of the tomato soup that made them stand out so invitingly. I was very tempted to kiss him, but I wouldn't dare. Instead, I pulled the cotton sheets over his shoulders before giving him a little kiss on his forehead. It wasn't much of a reward, but he deserved one for doing so well.

* * * *

Vegeta slept well into the evening. I had gone to Caspule Corp to retrieve his books and when I returned he was still sleeping. Dad had also been avoiding the room, and I started to feel a little frustrated. I suppose he was more freaked out than he let on and I seriously couldn't blame him. I had at least been there when the bomb went off. Dad was just there in the aftermath and he had no clue what was going on! I guess also getting over the fact that one of your best friends had actually done something as heinous as adultery was a part of the avoidance, too. What could he say that would make Vegeta feel better, anyways?

I kept the books in their capsules as I thought it would be best for Vegeta to open them himself. They were really his only earthly possessions from what I saw. I had wanted to wake him, but decided against it. He needed all the rest he could get. But some part of me was slightly afraid that he'd fall asleep and never wake up. Not die. Just never wake up. I had felt like that after mom passed away. I felt so depressed, so utterly useless that I slept a whole lot. All I wanted to do was sleep and sleep and, really, just never wake up. If I wasn't awake, I wouldn't feel so bad, would I? But eventually, after sleeping so much, I went from being a hyposomniac to being an _insomniac_! That was pretty much my wake up call. After that was over with, I started sleeping regularly again. But Vegeta could easily just drift off and never return to the land of the waking. It was that that I was most afraid of.

I sighed as I sank down into the couches in the living room, a warm mug of tea in my hands. God; I felt so guilty for being to drink this while Vegeta is asleep and probably still starving! Not that he would know, but his body was probably whining and begging for food. He just wasn't listening. I thought that maybe I could bring him a good breakfast tomorrow morning. But it was Monday and I had lectures. That meant I would have to leave it up to my dad.

I growled in thought as I sipped my tea. Dammit! I shouldn't be feeling jealous over this! Vegeta needed support and I knew very well that I couldn't do it alone. But that hot, angry, bubbling feeling in my gut refused to quell itself. I could even feel the corners of my mouth twisted down in what must have been an ugly sneer. Logically, I knew I shouldn't be jealous. But the childish side was incredibly possessive and seemed to scream '_MINE!_' at the very thought of my dad doing what I did for Vegeta that evening. But, it had to be done. I took in a deep breath and exhaled very slowly. I hoped whatever angry and jealous emotions I was feeling went out with it because I didn't want to spend the rest of the night up worrying about something as stupid as my father suddenly capturing Vegeta's affections. I even snorted at how stupid the notion was.

"Hey, Gohan."

I jumped and looked over the couch at my dad. He was standing in the doorway, wearing a plain orange t-shirt and indigo sweatpants.

"Oh. Hey, dad."

"Where were you?"

"I was at Capsule Corp." I answered honestly. "I decided that while Vegeta was resting I ought to go and get the rest of his things."

"Ah. Did you see Goten there?"

Come to think of it…

"No. There was hardly anyone around when I went there."

"I was just wondering." He said, walking around to the seat. I shifted over to give him some space to sit. "Because Goten called earlier."

"He did?"

"When you were gone. He called to say that Trunks and Bulma had another row."

"_Another_ row?"

"Yeah," he sighed, sinking down into the couch in a depressed manner. "Apparently after what happened yesterday, Goten says that Trunks is out to get his mother. Well, at least make her feel guilty for what she did. He said they were fighting when he got there yesterday and they've fought a couple more times since then."

"He's taking it badly, huh?"

"I don't blame him. I mean, even Goten sounded really upset." He chuckled. "Really. Listening to my youngest son go on about how bad she is and what a horrible person she is made me…jealous."

I blinked.

"Jealous?"

"Yeah."

But…why? What do you have to be jealous about?"

He sighed and scratched the nape of his neck.

"I guess…I dunno, really. I just guess it's because Goten is my son and, well, even though he tells me he loves me and all that, I can't help but feel that he loves Vegeta more."

"He does?"

"I dunno. Maybe I'm just being stupid. But, I mean, I _was_ dead for a long time. I wasn't there when he was born and even though your mother raised him, Vegeta seemed to be more of a fatherly figure than I ever could be." He chuckled again. "I'll never forget the first few months when I came back. Everything I did, Goten corrected me with a 'that's not how Mr Vegeta does it'. Even when your mom tried to get him to stop telling me that, he persisted. I don't think he knew what he was doing but he was making me really jealous. And…guilty."

"Guilty?"

"I had been dead for a long time, Gohan. I felt guilty for missing out on both of your most important stages in life. More still, I felt guilty for even being mad at Vegeta for being the dad I couldn't be at the time."

I gazed at my father with wide eyes. I knew dad wasn't stupid, but this whole ordeal had really brought out something inside of him that seemed to be reserved for such things. I never even knew that my dad could even get _jealous_! It suddenly made that hot ball of envy dispel and now I was left with a heavy ball of lead in my gut that was sinking down to my toes.

"It's okay, dad." I tried to assure him. "It's okay to be jealous. It's normal, right?"

He nodded, somewhat sadly.

"Yeah. I guess. I don't even know why I'm talking about all this."

"Maybe it's because of Vegeta?" I offered. I wasn't blaming him, but with his current situation it was hard not to look at him and think of your own bad experiences.

"Maybe." He sighed.

We were silent for a few more moments before I decided to change the topic. As much as dad may have needed to vent, I felt rather awkward hearing it. My heroic image of him hadn't dropped much and hearing him discuss such vulnerable things made me feel slightly lost.

"So…did Goten say when he was coming back?"

"He said it may be soon and he may be dragging Trunks back with him."

"Huh?"

"With the way he describes how Trunks is looking for a fight with Bulma I can hardly blame him."

"Oh! I see. He wants to pull Trunks away from all that. But…then what about Vegeta? I don't know if he wants his own son to see him like this." It was a strange thing for me to say seeing as he had a major snap in front of him, but I wasn't sure if it was a good idea.

"I don't know. But I'm sure we'll figure out something when the time comes."

I nodded my agreement. One step at a time was good enough for me.

We sat together for a little while, just in companionable silence. It was strange for my dad to suddenly be speaking about things like this, but I guess he had his mess to sort out. Something inside of me made me wonder if he was even over mom's death. If he was speaking about past things like this, I couldn't even begin to imagine what he must be holding inside about worse things.

Then I remembered that I had college tomorrow and I couldn't feed Vegeta until the gap between lectures. I didn't want him to wait long, anyways, seeing as how his body was in desperate need of nourishment. I gulped nervously, taking a large gulp of tea with it in hopes of smothering the rising fire of jealousy.

"Um…hey…dad?"

"Hmmm?"

"Ahm…I have college tomorrow and I'm going to be gone for most of the morning."

"Yeah."

"And…I've…I've got to leave early so…so…" I swallowed. "So…could you…look after Vegeta while I'm gone?"

Dad's sudden stiffened and his face paled considerably.

"Uh…oh! Erm…r-really? Y-you…you can't…you know? When you get back?"

Now I was irritated.

"Come on, dad! I've got to do go to college! It's only for a few hours. I'll be back between the break between my two lectures!"

"Bu-b-b-but…"

"Besides, Vegeta needs help! And not just from me. You know him better than anyone else, dad." I was loathed to admit it, but it was true. "I'm not asking you to psychoanalyze him or anything. Just to feed him breakfast and lunch and to just make sure he's okay."

"B-but…Gohan…" he swallowed. "I'm no help in the feeding thing, I-I…I can look out for him, but you know that my cooking skills only go as far as what I can put over a fire!"

"Well, then…make oatmeal or something. Make toast with jam. Give him tea. Just those simple things." I sighed and looked up imploringly up at him. "Please, dad? Vegeta needs our support more than ever. If we don't help him…"

I didn't trail off for just effect. I really didn't know what would happen if he were left to his own devices and I don't think I wanted to know, either! He looked like he was struggling for a bit before he finally gave in. I guess dad's hero side won out, despite the lack of knowledge at this territory.

"Okay. I'll do it."

"Thanks dad."

After that, I bad my goodnights and went off to my room. But not before stopping off at Vegeta's room. I peeked through the door, my Saiya-jin eyes focusing in the dark on the small figure lying so peacefully under the few sheets. Vegeta looked like he hadn't moved an inch since I left him and I found myself panicking slightly at the thought that he was far gone into the realms of sleep to wake up.

As silently as I could, I walked over to his side and leaned over until my ear was just over his mouth. He was breathing. That was good. I was almost distracted by the feel of his warm breath upon the shell of my ear, but I pulled away before I got too involved. Vegeta looked so beautiful at that moment. Maybe he always had been when he was sleeping and I was just never privileged enough to get a look. But his face was lax; that constant frown he wore was gone and he looked years younger than he really was. And those stray locks falling down making a fringe didn't help. My chest started swelling and my heart was beating so hard it hurt. Vegeta was really the most lovely of creatures. Why he was dealt such a crap hand in life was beyond me, but he dealt with it as best as he could and as much as he could. Now, it was our turn to help him.

I leant down and gave him another peck; this time, on his lips.

"Sleep tight, Vegeta," I whispered as I gently stroked his jaw. "We'll always be here for you. _I'll_ always be here for you. I promise."

With one last kiss, I slowly made my way from the room.

I loved Vegeta. I really did. And now was a better time than ever to show him that.


	8. Breaking the Dam

**Chapter Seven**

**Breaking the Dam**

**Vegeta POV**

I didn't dream that night. Hell, before I slipped off to sleep, I don't think I had a particular thought. It was strange to me, but I wasn't bothered. It felt nice to just be numb for a little bit. Gohan had completely thrown me off track. I just wanted to be left alone to rot; just for a little bit. But he didn't leave me, and that's when I became numb. I wasn't even sure why, though there was a feeling like something was nudging my brain. But I wasn't bothered to find out what it was. I didn't want to _do_ anything.

Despite the fact that I didn't dream, I felt like I had slept for a long time. As though I had been watching the black behind my eyelids seeing as I had nothing else to think about. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes, squinting slightly as they adjusted to the bright light of the room. The wooden floors were lightly lit and everything white shone dully. I suppose that meant it was still morning. I glanced about to see the room. A dresser with an empty vase, a chest of drawers with a couple of hoi-poi capsules on top and a walk-in cupboard. Still the same as yesterday. Well, except maybe for the capsules.

I sighed. Part of me wanted to get up and do something, like look what was inside those capsules. But most of me just didn't want to move. I felt so numb to my body that it should have been scary, but I wasn't really cared. I could feel my arms and legs, but despite my thoughts for them to move, they just lay where they were; lazy like I was. Not that I tried my best to move. I suppose they weren't moving because I had no ambition to get up. Not it mattered, anyways. All I wanted to do right then was to lie on the bed, stare unblinkingly up at the stark ceiling and vegetate into the mattress.

As I stared, I noticed that the ceiling was as stark as it first appeared to be. Well, at least now I had little things to focus on. The more I stared, the louder a certain high pitched humming noise droned on in my ears. A little fleck of grey here. A spot of something yellow there…yellow?

I was so caught up in staring at the bits and pieces on the ceiling (was that…gum? It may have been grey, but there seemed to be a pinkish hue to it…) that I didn't hear the door opening.

"Hey, Vegeta?"

My eyes moved down. Kakarotto stood in the small opening of the door. He looked rather skittish, but I didn't think too hard on that.

"Kakarotto."

"Umm…hey. Are you hungry?"

I shook my head.

"No."

He stared at me for a bit with that strange look in his eyes. I knew it well. It was that same look he wore when I gave him hypothetical questions on situations that called for him to either do the right thing or do what he was supposed to do. His nose wrinkled a bit and his fingers started drumming against the door.

"I…I think you should eat. You haven't had anything since the soup last night and that was a good ten hours ago."

I failed to see his point on this one, but I just tilted my head across the pillow, my eyes never leaving him.

"If you say so." I actually didn't give a damn.

He blinked, as though he was expecting me to throw a tantrum and curse him with all the languages I knew. I would have, but I didn't feel like it. I didn't feel like doing _anything_. But if he insisted that I eat and fed me himself, then I would have to.

"Oh…um…okay. I just made some runny oatmeal and scrambled eggs. You like orange juice, right?" I gave a shrug. "Okay…well, I'll be back in a second."

I kept staring at the door, listening to his sounds as he did things in the kitchen. A couple of minutes later he returned with a tray with a big bowl of oatmeal and a small plate of eggs. He didn't bring the juice, but I didn't care. At first, he looked like he was going to place it in front of me, but had second thoughts about it. He set it down on the dresser and propped me up against the pillow, just like Gohan had done. Some part inside my chest twinged at being treated like an invalid, but I had made no movements myself to sit up properly so I had no reason to feel angry at being treated like a baby. Especially since I was so limp I could be compared to a ragdoll. After this little display, I guess Kakarotto realized that placing the food in front of me wasn't going to make it go down my throat and, like Gohan, he took it upon himself to feed me.

The first spoonful of oatmeal was hot, and I flinched as it scalded my tongue.

"Oh! I'm sorry, 'Geta!" he apologized. I just shook my head and lay back.

As Kakarotto fed me, I found myself comparing the two. Kakarotto looked very nervous and skittish and I knew it wasn't because he was worried about feeding me too hot food again. He looked like at the first movement I made he'd go running for the hills. Gohan, on the other hand, looked more than eager to help me. He fussed over me like his mother did to him and I suppose that was where he got it from. It was still odd, though, seeing as I used to be the most likely to go psycho again on his little list. But he looked like he enjoyed it terribly, and not in a sadistic way, either. Like he _liked_ helping…_me_. Kakarotto had a painful look etched into his face like he would rather be fighting Coola, Brolly and Super Thirteen all over again rather than feed me.

But as spoon after spoon touched my lips, he seemed to relax a little bit more. He didn't look so fearful. I supposed the only reason he looked so anxious before was because he didn't know what to expect of me. Suddenly, I noticed that even though the oats had cooled down to a nice warm temperature, he still gently blew on it to make sure. For some reason that made something else stir in my chest and my heart gave a funny thump. As I swallowed the next spoonful, I found myself tasting it for a change. It was milky and runny; he wasn't joking about that. But it was creamy, too, like he added a dollop of cream just to add to the richness. I could also taste…cinnamon? Or was it nutmeg? A few more spoons and I could define that it was definitely cinnamon. I began to then think about the fact that it was Kakarotto who made this meal for me. At least, it had to have been. Using my senses I searched out and sniffed for the others. Goten's scent was faint as was Gohan's, but that was just remnants from when they were last in the room. And they definitely didn't have a helper; I couldn't smell the presence of any other non-Saiya-jin. The thought of Kakarotto making breakfast for me made my gut squirm and squiggle, but not in a nauseating way. It bothered me slightly, seeing as I could swear my face was heating up a bit. But I was still relatively numb, so all this felt weak and strained; like the emotions and its implications were desperately trying to reach through to me. That made me all the more uncomfortable.

But as the eggs came (with basil and some grated cheddar on top), I pushed the thoughts to the side. I still wanted to feel numb. I knew it wasn't a good thing, but I wanted it anyways.

As soon as the last bit of egg had been swallowed, Kakarotto gave a sigh. I guess that meant he was happy that it was all over.

"That's great, Vegeta!" I blinked. "You've finished everything. I was so worried you wouldn't even make it to the eggs, but looks like everything's okay."

I wanted to give a sardonic snort, but I didn't feel like it. Instead, I just shrugged. He looked a little put off by this and I guess he was expecting a sarcastic remark or action as much as I felt like I should give it to him.

"Ah…do you want your juice now?"

"No." I didn't want it. The oatmeal had been runny enough for me to _drink_ it, rather than _eat_ it.

"Okay." He moved the tray from me and then stared.

I lay still for a bit, but after a while and his eyes still hadn't moved from my chest I started to feel a tad uncomfortable.

"What?"

"Do you want a wash?"

"Hmm?"

"Your jersey has got stains on it."

I didn't particularly care if I even had vomit down the front of my jersey, but for some reason I looked anyways. I saw some red splotches that had become dry and flaky; must have been the tomato soup. Also a few flecks of white which had to have been the oatmeal.

"Hmm." I hummed again. I was still pretty nonplussed, but I was moving a little more. Did I care? I don't think so.

"I don't think you've had a wash since you got here," he commented and that struck a chord within me. It was faint, but I could already feel my nose wrinkle in disgust. I suppose it was because I knew it wasn't fresh sweat that had been seeping through my pores from rough and thorough training, but rather bed sweat. The kind of sweat that collected in by the joints and more private areas and fermented into a foul, stagnant stench. Eew…

"I guess…" but I stopped. What did it matter? I was going to just lie here, anyways. I don't think I had the strength to move, despite the meal I just ate.

"I could run you a bath." He offered. "And you could have a nice soak?"

I just nodded. I had no idea what else to do. I knew that Kakarotto knew why I was here, and I knew that he wouldn't turn me away or rub it in my face. But to just know that he wasn't pressing matters or asking prying questions made me feel all more guilty of wanting to just mold into the bed.

Maybe…just maybe I'd let myself feel a little more today.

* * * *

Kakarotto disappeared for a while and I was left to my own thoughts. I decided not to think about anything serious seeing as I decided to lighten up for a while, so I instead turned my thoughts to the previous meal. I knew for a fact Kakarotto couldn't prepare a decent meal; or, at least, one that had to be thoroughly prepared in some way. I may have not been a gourmet chef myself, but at least I could make sauce for pasta. But, then again, oatmeal and scrambled eggs weren't exactly culinary demanding foods to make. They both tasted bland enough and the cinnamon and cheese were simple things to use to spice it up. Rather clever, actually…

He returned a little while later, grinning and smelling like the grass outside. Carefully, he helped me out of bed and onto my feet. I flushed with embarrassment as my knees just buckled as soon as my feet touched the floor. I wasn't so numb anymore…was that I that weak? But Kakarotto didn't snigger or anything. Rather, he put one arm around my shoulder and swung his other under my legs, effectively scooping me up into his arms. A squeak escaped before I could stop it and I flushed a bright red. My legs lay limp and my one arm also hung limply. It appeared the only things that were functioning normally were from the neck up. As he carried me, I suddenly became very aware of our difference in size. Kakarotto had always been bigger than I, but I never thought much about it. I was still as powerful and because of that I felt so much more proud of myself. A short guy kicking the hell out of a big tough guy; a sure ego-stoker, that's for certain.

But now…now I was like a child in his arms! Not only had I shrunken in mass (and therefore, in size) but Kakarotto had buffed up immensely. He looked as though if he went Super Saiya-jin he'd be reminiscent of Brolly in his Densetsu form. The only other occasion I could compare this to, was when Nappa carried me to the medical bay to have my leg mended. I was twenty five at the time, but thanks to Frieza's cellular freezing technology my body was only fourteen years old! That was the last time I let anyone calculate my age; my body couldn't be trusted. If I thought about it, when I met Kakarotto my body was only that of a sixteen year old Saiya-jin. By now I'd only be nearing my thirties! Just the mere thought made me cringe.

I was so deep in thought about the comparison of age and size that I failed to notice that he wasn't leading me to the bathroom. It was only when the bright sting of the sun hit my eyes that I realized we weren't anywhere near the bathroom. He walked around the house, away from the lake and more to the forest. Around the corner was a wooden bath filled with water.

He stopped and I looked up at him.

"I thought that maybe you could enjoy the warm weather." He explained, crooking his neck to the side. I guess this is where his hand would have been scratching his neck, but seeing as it was full, all he could do was go through the motions as far as he could without it. Such a strange habit. "I mean, when you're done you're going to get back into bed, anyways, so I thought bathing outside in the fresh air and sunlight would you some good."

I looked back and saw that the bath was in the shade of house. So much for the sunlight. But I didn't verbally complain. I just nodded and let him get on with it.

Seeing as my body was still somewhat offline (it moved now, albeit very shakily), Kakarotto had to help me undress. I didn't _want_ him to, but I couldn't very well wash myself in a dirty jersey and sweaty pants, now could I? All the same; to have my sweatpants and top so carefully removed made me a little jittery. Each little touch made me want to flinch, but I held back. He had made a move to remove my gloves, but I quickly pushed him away.

"But, how will you wash your hands?"

"I wash them in the water. I…think I have spare gloves somewhere."

He frowned.

"But…"

"Please…" I begged. Don't make me take it off. I can't. Please, don't.

My tone must have been as desperate as I felt; he just blinked and sighed before leaving them. I let the breath I was holding go. I didn't want him to see my hands. No one shoulder. _Ever_.

Kakarotto picked me up again and gently slipped me into the water. It wasn't hot, but it was certainly warmer than the cool breeze that wafted across the land. I shuddered a bit, shifting about to adjust my body. I could now feel my arms and legs, and the rest of my body, but it felt terribly weak. A burning shame lit up my cheeks as I remembered that I was being weak in front of my rival, but for some reason even though I felt mortified it didn't hurt as badly as before.

"Hey, are you okay, Vegeta?"

I nodded, feeling a little embarrassed to be naked in front of him, even though I was bathing.

"I'm fine."

"Okay. Do you want me to wash you?"

My cheeks flushed even more, but I could do nothing but nod. I sincerely hoped he didn't decide to join me!

Thankfully, my little prayer was answered and Kakarotto just took off his blue undershirt and got a sponge and soap. He started with my chest and neck, slowly and carefully washing each and every bit of flesh. My cheeks were now burning even more! It's not that I liked Kakarotto like _that_…because I didn't. It was really the feel of foreign hands gently rubbing over my chest that made me feel weird and skittish. He frowned as his hands skimmed over my ribs; I suppose even he hated what happened to me.

Oddly enough, I started wondering if he blamed Bulma or myself? Gohan didn't seem to have much of a care for her anymore; not after his presence at the Big Bang. But Kakarotto wasn't there and he has no idea what went on aside from what Gohan had told him. Maybe he thought the whole thing was some kind of misunderstanding that has escalating into what it did? But it really didn't matter. I had finally had enough and left her, so she was technically out of my life.

But still, as Kakarotto washed me, I could help but remember the good times we had. I had often wondered if she had been cheating on me during those times as well, but I try not to. I'd never know, so why bother going all the way back to nitpick when everything was going so well? I remember when I first saw her; I thought she was a slut. In truth, I thought that failed bandit could have done a lot better. I preferred people with personality and all she had was a damn attitude. But, over time, she had grown on me. I didn't know what it was that drew me to her in the first place, but I remember very clearly that it was her brand of wisdom that caught my attention. She had been caring and understanding to those in need; always ready and willing to run and just be there when the person needed her. Hardly anything terrified her except the destruction of her creations, and I admired that immensely.

But that was all over and done with! As a wonderful person as she was, and is still somewhat, I can never forgive her for doing what she did. She wasn't an airhead like all those other women Yamcha had brought to Capsule Corp, so she knew perfectly well what she was doing. And she had kept at it for two whole years! It wasn't just once. It was many, many times with many, many different men. So she was out of my life! I took in a deep breath and let it out, feeling a nauseating bubbling feeling welling up in the pit of my stomach, and I knew it wasn't the eggs.

As much as I knew that I had to be strong and firm with what I thought, I found that I was still in regret. Bulma did a very bad thing and I didn't deserve to be with her, no doubt about that. But once you've shared many years with a person and raised a child together, it becomes so difficult to just accept that it's…over.

It was no good staying with her; the stress and the emotional blockage was literally killing me, and I could feel it as Kakarotto's fingers counted the humps in my spine. But leaving her still made me feel sick; made me feel like it had all been a waste, like I had been living a God awful lie and this was my wakeup to the real world. I hated her and I wished she would die the most awful death imaginable. But at the same time, the thought depressed me.

"Vegeta? Are…a-are you okay?"

I snapped my head up and blinked rapidly. Kakarotto was looking at me with concern in his eyes; why? I felt something hot trail down my warm cheeks; ah, tears. I was crying…again.

"I-I'm ok-ay," I croaked. It wasn't exactly convincing.

"Vegeta, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. N-nothing's wrong."

"Please, Vegeta, something's bothering you," I turned my head away and stared intently at the soapy water. I didn't want to look at him. I _couldn't_ look at him; not like this! But his fingers cupped around my chin and held my face gently, turning my face towards him. I still didn't look up, focusing instead on the edge of the wooden bathtub. "Vegeta? Please, tell me."

I was silent, but the feel was building up inside my chest. I couldn't tell if I was going to cry or laugh!

"H-how could she do that?" I hissed. "Why? What went wrong? I know I'm not perfect husband material to a human, but that's because I don't know _how_! I'm a Saiya-jin! I've spent my whole life being oppressed and ruled by a merciless reptile who used me and those close to me as tools to do his dirty work so the blood was on our hands, not his! I wasn't brought up as a human! She knew that! I trusted her and I loved her and she…s-she…that bitch! I hate her so much I just wished she would fall over and die! Both her and that bastard she's carrying! I wished I had killed her on Namek! She knew what she was doing and she did it anyways! What about Trunks? What about _me_…"

With every sentence and every breath the tears started to flow harder. I wasn't in a fitful state as I was when this all happened and Gohan had to comfort me, but I still felt so weak and sick; it was like every bit of despair within me had been welling up just for this moment and now it was wracking my body and leaking out of eyes. My mind was pulled into the back of my skull and the high pitched noise was back. I vaguely felt Kakarotto climb into the tub with me, but I wasn't particularly cared. I launched myself at him and sat in his lap, clutching his shoulders and burying my face into his orange gi.

For the next ten minutes or so I cried out everything. I just let it all go! Bulma was bad and now gone, and that was that. But it didn't hurt to grieve over the loss. Nappa had told me that after Raditz passed on and I suppose the only reason I've turn out okay after losing two of my closest companions was because I took the advice. Killing Nappa hadn't been easy, but he would have died slowly and painfully otherwise and he knew this. I had hated myself for a long time after that, but I knew that they were much better off in the Other World than here. They had found peace and I was happy for them. Lonely, but happy. Bulma was a different matter, and I supposed that's why it made it all the more harder. But I would grieve over the loss and move on; Raditz wouldn't have wanted me to wallow in misery like I had for the past two years.

My sobs had quietened down to sniffles and soon I stopped crying completely. It had actually felt…good. There was still a sickening feeling lingering at the bottom of my belly and my tongue tasted salty like tears, but I felt a lot better. I suspect it also had something to do with the fact that Kakarotto had been comforting me the whole time. Even though I had stopped crying, he was still rocking me gently in his lap, his hands rubbing up and down my back in a soothing manner. It really helped and I didn't feel any resentment towards him for doing it.

But reality came crashing back to me once I realized that I was very naked and seated in Kakarotto's lap. Granted, he was still wearing his gi, but that didn't make the situation any less…compromising. Let's just it had been a _very_ long time since I had been intimate and now my mind was currently flinging itself in the gutter!

The soothing, rubbing hands suddenly became ticklish and with every touch sent a wave of heat through my skin. I was suddenly aware of his mouth just by my ear, his lips grazing my lobe and hot puffs of his breath wafting enticingly over the shell. I shifted, feeling a little hot and bothered but it just made things worse for me! Moving made me realized that I was sitting in his lap. I was _wet_ and _naked_ and my _ass_ was wiggling in his _lap_!

Oh.

_God…_

I coughed and wiggled away.

"Umm…I-I'm f-fine now," I stuttered.

"You sure?"

"Yes. I just…felt so conflicted."

"It's okay. I know that you had to let it out." He paused and shifted closer. "You…want to talk about it?"

I scooted back quickly before I was tempted to jump back into his lap! Oh, Kami…it _had_ been far too long…

"N-no. Not yet."

"Well, when you do you know that Gohan and I are here for you."

I nodded.  
"I know." I paused. "Ahm…may I sit out here for bit? While you go change?"

"Huh?"

What? Did the idiot not realize that he had jumped into the tub; gi, sash and…boots! I quickly pulled back my feet. Betraying bastards! Playing footsy without my consent!

"You're all wet."

Mmm…NO! Stoppit!

"Oh…right. Sorry about that."

"I just want to relax a little." Kakarotto looked rather unsure. "I won't drown. Promise."

He still looked skeptical, but gave in, nodding and grinning.

"Okay. You relax out here and soak up as much sun and fresh air as you can. I'm gonna go change." He said as he hauled himself out the tub. "I forgot the towel, anyways…I'll go get that, too!" With that, he ambled back around the corner and into the house.

As soon as he was out of sight, I started thrashing about. What the hell was wrong with me? Just this morning I wanted to become one the mattress, then I was bawling over my ex-wife and now I wanted him to do unspeakable, yet pleasurable, things to me? What. The ._Hell_! I wasn't just conflicted; I was fucked up! I had made it my own personal law that I would not have sex with anyone or be intimate with anyone unless we were in a committed relationship. My first love had died, so that couldn't be helped. My second one became a cheating whore, so that was that. I could wait until a third one came along. Maybe this one would stay.

But I was not, absolutely _not_, allowed to rub and wiggle against the person taking care of me just because my body is screaming 'love me, love me'! I was horny, yes I'll admit that. But I didn't want to get horny with Kakarotto! No doubt it'd have also been a long time for him and we would have ended up fucking regardless of the fact that I just had a breakdown and am, more than likely, still emotionally fragile. I could already see where _that_ would have led us.

I shook my head and dunked it under the water for good measure. No, what I did was good; I pushed him away before I let myself get carried away. Neither of us needed more baggage added to this pile and Kakarotto pounding into me would have done just that! Regardless if my body needed it or not, I still had a long way to go before _I_ was okay with it.

But on the other hand, just the thought of rubbing my hands across his broad shoulders and down to his nipples made me shudder with want. They were peaked and up as he got out; I remembered that. I stifled a groan as my imagination started to do its work. I could see myself wrapping my arms around his neck, shifting my hips so that my groin was pressed up against his. He would gasp and call my name and I'd slowly move my hips back and forth. Kakarotto would get the idea and large, calloused hands would rub up and down my back before trailing tantalizingly down to my buttocks, where he'd give them a rough squeeze. I'd moan and rock a little harder in his lap, feeling our awakened cocks rubbing through the material of the coarse gi. He'd lean down and start nibbling and licking my chin before moving up and plunging into my mouth, his one hand coming up to hold my neck as he devoured me; the other hand gripping possessively on my hip as he helped me move as we rutted against each other…

Oh…God no…

I had to stop! I had to stop now! My own cock was aching terribly and it trembled and twitched with every thought. I wanted to reach down and touch myself; stroke my hot cock a couple of times before moving down and cupping my balls and playing with them. But more than that, I wanted to be filled. My hole twitched and ached just as badly as my dick and I knew that if I kept up with my lusty thoughts I would lose complete control over my body and I'd have to orgasm. And who knew how long Kakarotto would be gone for?

I reached over and gripped the edge of the tub, taking in deep breaths; both concentrating and willing my erection away. My body felt so unbearably hot and with each breath both the heat and my erection faded away.

By the time Kakarotto had returned, dressed and with a towel, I was in complete control of my body again.

* * * *

Kakarotto had thoughtfully brought a capsule with my other gloves in them. He seemed confused as I asked him to put me in the bathroom as I put them on, but he didn't argue. I was wrapped up in a fluffy towel and sat upon the toilet seat. He left me to change my gloves and I called him back when I was done. After that, he dressed me in a pair of Goten's sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. I suspected it was Gohan's, as it had his signature scent on it. Then he tucked me back into the bed. I knew, years ago, I would have been humiliated to have this done by my rival, but now I felt content and rather pleased to be spoilt. He even opened the hoi-poi capsules with all my books in it and brought in a couple of shelves that were unused in the living room.

Nothing else happened. I decided to read while I waited for Gohan. He didn't come home during his break, but I didn't blame him. At least I knew he was working. Kakarotto brought lunch for me, but I was a little more disappointing. I could only manage half of the sandwiches he brought in, but he said it was okay.

It felt…weird and bizarre that I was so at ease with him all of a sudden. When I had admitted to him being the strongest between us, I was still bitter about it. Now it was like it didn't matter anymore. I suppose in the light of all that had happened, being physically strong seemed much less important than being emotionally strong. It was even cruel of me to think this, but I think if Kakarotto had been in my shoes, he'd have been a lot worse.

I was, once again, immersed in a book. I knew I had taken to drowning myself again, but this time is was because I had nothing else to do. My legs were still very weak and Kakarotto had insisted that I stay in bed. He even threatened to tie me down if I became difficult! The nerve! I was really in no mood to fight with anyone, least of all the people who were helping me. I had assured him I wouldn't, but he gave me a skeptical look anyways. I suppose it because he was so used to me fighting that he expected me to throw my usual tantrum of how he was a third-class clown and if he thought he could keep me, the Saiya-jin no Ouji, in bed against my will then he had better think again. To be honest, it must have been a usual thing because even though I assured him I'd be fine and I had every intention of staying in bed, the words formed in my head without prompt. I couldn't blame him, either, for checking in on me every five minutes after I said that.

"Hey, Vegeta!"

I perked my head up at that voice. The smell of crushed leaves invaded my senses again. Gohan was home. He was standing the doorway, dressed quite immaculately in a casual dress pants and a brown shirt. He actually looked…handsome. Very handsome. Why hadn't I noticed it before?

He strode over to my bed and grinned. It was something like Kakarotto's, only much more relaxed; a flash of pearly white teeth and a bit of gum, exposing Saiya-jin canines.

"How have you been? Are you feeling better?"

I nodded. I really was.

"Yes. Very much."

"Did dad feed you?" he suddenly blanched at the words that came out of his mouth; looking horrified. I knew what it sounded like; like I was some sort of invalid or pet that needed constant attention, which was highly insulting. But I knew what he meant and that he was only looking out for my wellbeing. As much as this was an opening to get back to the snippy and stubborn Saiya-jin that I was, I was scared that it would lead back into a decline. I was already as skinny as a rake; I didn't want to _die_ looking like one!

"Yes. Kakarotto came in with breakfast this morning. He fed me lunch when you didn't come home."

"I'm sorry about that," he said, looking genuinely guilty. "But I had to go to Capsule Corp to see Goten."

My heart stopped beating for a moment. Relax, Vegeta, relax. Didn't you say that it was now over between you and _her_ and that you needed to move on?

"O-oh."

"He's been there for a while with Trunks. I just wanted to make sure that everything was fine."

"Goten's a capable young Saiya-jin; he'll be perfectly fine!" I snapped. But as I looked up and saw the guilty look on his face, I quickly lost my anger. It would do no good getting upset just because I was feeling antsy at hearing the name 'Capsule Corp' that implied _her_ and Trunks. Speaking of which… "How…how is Trunks? Is he okay?" I didn't forget the fact that my son had been there when I blew up. I must have looked like a total asshole to him!

"Umm…well," he looked at me for a minute, before sighing and taking a seat on the chair Kakarotto had sat on to feed me. "To be honest, he's not doing that well."

A large lump form in my throat.

"Oh…"

"He's been acting…I don't know how to put this…" he mumbled. "Aggressively towards Bulma."

I blinked.  
"Aggressively?"

He nodded.

"I don't think the idea of another sibling by another man went down very well with him. I don't think, in fact, that he's very happy, either, that his own mother did such a thing."

The lump started getting hard and my eyes started to prickle.

"W-wha…"

"Trunks misses you, Vegeta." He said softly. "He wants to come down and talk to you. He asked me to ask you."

"B-but…what about…doesn't he…Bulma…"

"As far as I've seen and what Goten told me in private, he's gone out of his way to make Bulma's life as miserable as possible. He really hates her for what she's done and he's showing no mercy."

I nodded, the lump slowly softening and the tears gently trickling down from the corner of my eyes. I suppose if I were in his position, I would, too. I already felt betrayed by the one I trusted and loved, only to be accused of crimes that she was committing. How would it feel to have been lied to and find out that your own mother is regular whore that makes prostitutes look decent?

"Vegeta," he whispered, wiping the tears with his thumbs. "Please, don't cry. You know Trunks doesn't blame you for any of this." There was a paused as his hands cupped my face, his thumbs gently rubbing over my cheeks. "Do you want to see Trunks?"

I shuddered.

"Yes." I croaked. I wanted to see him; I _needed_ to see my son. I didn't doubt what Gohan had told me, but I wanted to see for myself. We were in the same boat, weren't we? Bulma hurt both of us in such a way that neither of us felt capable of being comfortable in her presence. I wouldn't want to be within 10 meters of her and Trunks was aiming to make her life a living hell. Besides, I knew he needed me more I needed anyone else right now. I don't think he feels like he could trust anyone else; not even Goten.

Gohan gave a small smile. His hands were still cupping my face and his thumbs were still rubbing over my cheeks. I shivered slightly at the sensation as little tingles wiggled down my spine. I opened my eyes to find myself staring straight into his dark ones.

I had always known how different Gohan and Kakarotto were, seeing as I was a Saiya-jin and the small details were much more noticeable to me. But I never knew just _how_ different. Kakarotto's eyes, though being in numerous battles of life and death, were still incredibly soft. Gohan's, though filled with youth, had a certain hardened edge. I suppose this was because Gohan had been fighting in life and death battles since he was young as opposed to Kakarotto who had been merely on adventures with battles. Kakarotto had a square jaw and low cheekbones while Gohan's jaw was a little softer and his cheekbone a little higher. Not as high as mine…

I was brought back to his eyes when I heard a small rumble. It sounded awfully…familiar. Hunger? I looked up and found myself swimming in a myriad of emotions. There was concern, worry, a certain amount of admiration and…was that…lust?

It was then that I realized that rumbling was emanating from Gohan himself. Nappa had told me that it was like a growl that one Saiya-jin used to do in order to capture their interest's attention. It was the same thing _he_ had done countless times when I had tried to put him off. I shuddered under the hungry gaze of Gohan; he looked very much like he was going to eat me, and not in the cannibalistic way. Just the mere thought of someone actually looking at me with such interest in his eyes made a warmth spread through my belly and my legs started to tingle. The scent of musk and crushed leaves started to mingle with another scent that was making it rather intoxicating. I gave a whimper as I felt his breath getting hotter and hotter with every puff that he exhaled.

"Okay, I'll tell him."

I snapped out of my daze as Gohan pulled back and grinned at me. I stared blankly for a second before he just gave me another one of his grins and left. My mind was blank for a moment or two, but I soon recalled all the sensations and flushed a bright red.

Did Gohan…does he…

Does he have an interest in me? Does he…like me? Or a better question yet…did I like him the same way that I did _him_? Was it too soon? I knew I couldn't brush it off as the brat messing with me. I knew he wouldn't do that. And that growl; it was instinctive. A dominate Saiya-jin would do that in the presence of the one he was after as a sort of lure. When Nappa had explained it to me I didn't understand what the big fuss was. And then _he_ used it; numerous times! It was rather like a call that a submissive cannot deny, no matter how they try. At least, if they're interested. If they're not, then the dominant can growl all he likes, the sub won't turn his head in his direction even if he were naked and drenched in chocolate sauce.

And there it was before me. Gohan, the dominant and the one who had an interest in me, was trying to lure me, the submissive, into a courtship.

And damned if I wasn't interested!


End file.
